London-born boy who died aged 15 to become first millennial saint https://t.co/1UTQwPrJSv
— The Guardian (@guardian) May 24, 2024
Move over, Francis of Assisi, you busted ass bitch! There’s a new saint in Catholic town and he’s a MILLENNIAL.
Blessed Carlo Acutis was born in 1991 in England and later moved to Italy with his wealthy Italian parents (not very holy to be wealthy but ok). He was a whiz kid on the computer (aren’t we all?) and used his skills to make websites for Catholic organizations. He died in October of 2006 at the age of 15.
To be canonized as a saint in the Catholic church, at least 2 miracles must be be performed after the death of the saint. Acutis’s miracles are as follows:
First Miracle:
A seven-year-old boy from Brazil recovered from a rare pancreatic disorder after coming into contact with one of Acutis’s T-shirts (a holy t-shirt!). A priest had also prayed to Acutis on behalf of the child. Pop Franics approved this miracle attributed to him back in 2020.
Second Miracle:
A Costa Rican woman miraculously recovered from a serious bike accident. From the source:
Valeria Valverde, 21, underwent an emergency craniotomy to reduce pressure on her brain and her family was told she was in a critical condition, it was reported.
Her mother went to pray for her daughter’s recovery at the tomb of Acutis in the Umbrian town of Assisi six days later.
The church said that on the same day, Valverde began to breathe without a ventilator and recovered the use of her upper limbs and her speech.
She was discharged from intensive care 10 days later and scans showed that the contusion on her brain had disappeared, according to reports.
Acutis is the patron saint of youth and computer programmers! Certainly fitting, but OP thinks the Pope could have made him a patron saint of some more millennial things.
What should the Millennial Saint be Patron Saint of?
Avocado Toast Eaters
25(15.6%)
Skinny Jeans Wearers
14(8.8%)
People Who Will Never Own Homes
71(44.4%)
People Who Still Have Hotmail Accounts
27(16.9%)
Other (In Comments)
2(1.2%)
