Some of these movies I had loved, some of these movies I had seen but forgotten, some of these movies I had only heard about, and some of these movies I didn’t even know existed.
Below the cut is my personal ranking of these films, from worst to best. But first – the top 30 grossing films of 1993 (Note: I used Box Office Mojo’s list – sourced below. Different sites have different films/rankings but a lot of the same films appear despite which list you pull):
| Top Grossing Films of ’93 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. Jurassic Park | 11. Free Willy | 21. The Three Musketeers |
| 2. Mrs. Doubtfire | 12. Philadelphia | 22. Rookie of the Year |
| 3. The Fugitive | 13. Groundhog Day | 23. Beethoven’s 2nd |
| 4. The Firm | 14. Grumpy Old Men | 24. Dennis the Menace |
| 5. Sleepless in Seattle | 15. Cool Runnings | 25. Sommersby |
| 6. Indecent Proposal | 16. Dave | 26. Last Action Hero |
| 7. In the Line of Fire | 17. Rising Sun | 27. The Nightmare Before Christmas |
| 8. The Pelican Brief | 18. Demolition Man | 28. Addams Family Values |
| 9. Schindler’s List | 19. Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit | 29. Malice |
| 10. Cliffhanger | 20. Tombstone | 30. Made in America |
I watched these films in order from 1 to 30 as listed above. Below, they are ordered from WORST to BEST with brief commentary on each because I know how much you all hate to read!
[The Stinkers: 30-21]
The Stinkers: 30-21
30. Indecent Proposal
Holy fuck this movie SUCKS. It’s clunky from start to finish. The narration is annoying. Woody Harrelson is HORRIBLE. Literally the only good thing about this movie is Demi Moore and her cute outfits. So much of this movie is nonsense that it’s actually infuriating to watch (the plot is basically 2 broke but fully capable and educated adults that, instead of getting a fucking job, try to gamble their money problems away lmfao – and then a horny Robert Redford pays to fuck Demi Moore for a million dollars and then Woody Harrelson acts like a stupid idiot manbaby the rest of the movie). I truly can’t explain how horrible this movie is. Also Billy Connolly has a cameo as himself!? How did this even get made and how did it make so much money!?!? I guess people in 1993 were insatiably horny for Demi Moore because there’s no other explanation for this. 0/5
29. Rising Sun
This movie is giving Indecent Proposal a run for its money in terms of the worst movie of ’93. Both are absolutely insufferable. Wesley Snipes. Sean Connery. Tia Carrere. Harvey Keitel. Steve Buscemi. That’s a lot of names tied to this massive pile of doodoo.
The only reason this one is ranked above Indecent Proposal is because I was thrown for a loop-de-fucking-loop when Sean Connery said, “We may come from a fragmented MTV rap video culture, but they do not,” and then referred to himself as Wesley Snipes’s Senpai lmfao. Nothing that unhinged happened in Indecent Proposal! 0/5
28. Mrs. Doubtfire
Probably a controversial take, but I never cared for Robin Williams and I never cared for this movie. I hated Mrs. Doubtfire as a kid. I’ve wondered on and off for years if I should revisit it now that I’m older since it’s so beloved, but giving it my first ever re-watch really solidified my opinion. This movie sucks. Everyone is so unlikeable. So much of it left a sour taste in my mouth. The jokes aren’t funny. I found this wholly unenjoyable. There wasn’t a single thing that I liked about this and it was, overall, a really bad time. Don’t come for me in the comments unless you’ve watched this in the last 3 years. 0/5
27. The Three Musketeers
Chris O’Donnell is an absolutely brutal actor, my god. The accents in this movie are???????
There’s not much to say here. They should remake this as an animated movie and make it good. 1/5
26. Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit
Throw this on the pile of unnecessary sequels that should have never been made. I never really cared for Sister Act, so I hadn’t bothered to see Sister Act 2. I’ve seen it now and I wish I hadn’t. Whoopi Goldberg has to pretend to be a nun again, but this time to save a troubled school – she is neither a nun, nor a teacher, but somehow, she’s the only one qualified for the job. It’s just…hard to sit through. 1/5
25. Malice
Yet another poorly constructed adult thriller – this one co-written by Aaron Sorkin. This is one of the weirdest fucking movies I ever seen in my life. I kept asking myself, “who the fuck wrote this?” and then going, “oh yeah, Aaron Sorkin.”
Nicole Kidman and Bill Pullman play a married couple who rent out a room to a hot shot surgeon played by Alec Baldwin. Things so awry when Baldwin has to perform surgery on Kidman and complications occur.
There’s also a serial killer (played by Tobin Bell) running around this town that…doesn’t actually feature into the main plot of the film in any meaningful way and is sort of unnecessary lmao. Like a whole ass filler serial killer plot for no reason other than to give the characters somewhere to be and something to talk about. It’s bizarre. 1/5
24. Rookie of the Year
Obviously, this movie isn’t for me – it’s about a kid who breaks his arm one summer, it heals weird enough to give him a borderline superpower, and he ends up becoming the new pitcher for the Chicago Cubs.
A lot of the humour and dialogue is outdated and a little weird at times – but overall, it’s not terrible. The child actors come through with their performances and some of the humour does manage to land. 1/5
23. Made in America
Whoopi Goldberg, Ted Danson, Nia Long, Jennifer Tilly, and Will Smith (who plays a character named Tea Cake…) star in this movie about an 18-year-old girl who discovers through a blood test that her mother conceived her using a sperm donor. When she follows-up to try and find her father, she discovers that the donor is a white man. This is one of those movies with a ton of wasted talent.
The IRL drama is more interesting than the movie – Ted Danson & Whoopi Goldberg had been friends before this movie. After working on this movie together, the two started having an affair while Danson was still married to his wife of 16 years, Cassandra Coates – the resulting divorce was one of the most expensive at the time! 1/5
22. Beethoven’s 2nd
The Beethoven movies are PEAK 90s to me. I will NEVER get over that the eldest daughter is named Ryce. I couldn’t get over it when I first saw Beethoven and I’m still not over it lmao. Anyway, in this one, Beethoven falls in love with another St. Bernard at the park and the race is on to save her from her evil owner. It’s hard to rate these kid’s movies since I’m an adult, but it’s decent and cute. 1.5/5
21. Cliffhanger
Another movie that opens with a woman’s death to give men some sort of emotional motivation (yawn) – I’m not even sure why that’s necessary given the plot of this thing. A bunch of thieves try to steal a load of cash being transported by plane, but the mid-air heist goes awry and the cases of money fall into the mountains below. A rock-climbing search and rescue team and the thieves scramble to get to the money. John Lithgow does a really bad British accent in this, so trigger warning if that’s something that’s going to send you over the edge lol. Cliffhanger is pretty nonsensical but it certainly isn’t the worst thing on this list. It’s the definition of mindless entertainment. 2/5
[The Middle of the Pack: 20-11]
The Middle of the Pack: 20-11
20. Sommersby
I was reminded of that viral tweet which said that some people can’t be realistically cast in a period piece (like Jessica Biel having the face of someone who knows about text messaging). I felt the same here with Richard Gere – no amount of scruff or grime could make me suspend my disbelief for long enough to ever pretend that this is a man that could have existed in the 1800s. While I do love a period drama – this movie is pretty slow and not all that interesting despite elements of a premise that could have delivered a lot more than it did. 2/5
19. The Firm
I generally try to avoid Tom Cruise films – I do not enjoy this man. This one is about a Harvard graduate that joins a small Memphis law firm that turns out to be, basically, a weird and murderous cult (lmao how prophetic!). This movie is 2.5 fucking hours long, loses a ton of steam towards the middle-end, and contains a very NSFL scene where Holly Hunter makes out with Gary Busey while his eyes are open. Tom Cruise also beats up Wilford Brimley. 2.5/5
18. The Fugitive
Maybe I was in a bad mood when I watched this one given the high critical ratings it has, but I’m pretty sick of movies about violence against women and the poor men who are affected by it. It’s just the same fucking story over and over again. Living in a patriarchy is so creatively boring. N E WAY…putting that aside, as a movie it’s fine – the acting is good and it moves along decently enough. Harrison Ford basically plays an invincible genius – it gets fucking old pretty quickly. We get an obligatory tough man scene where he stitches himself back up after getting injured in an explosive train/car accident and then not too long after that he yeets himself off a fucking dam and survives lmao. Mmkay. 2.5/5
17. The Pelican Brief
Another 2.5 hour movie (well, just about). I guess long ass mainstream movies aren’t as much of a new phenomenon as I thought. Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington star in this legal/political/assassination-based thriller which, I’m learning, is very on brand for 1993. They’re both incredibly hot in this movie which makes up for some of the lagging in the plot and the length of the movie. 3/5
16. Tombstone
This one was tough to rate because I’m not a big western fan and haven’t seen too many to begin with, so I don’t know where this ranks in the world of westerns. I will say, there were some very beautiful shots in this film. Ultimately, I just wasn’t totally engaged by this one, but maybe it just wasn’t my thing. 3.5/5
Addendum: Going over this list before posting, and I don’t even remember most of this movie. I couldn’t tell you the plot if I tried. Clearly my brain did not think this movie was all that worth remembering. Is it rated too highly? I have no idea. It probably is. Maybe I gave it an extra point for the unreal use of guyliner.
15. Philadelphia
I have heard reference to this movie for decades. I knew it was a Tom Hanks film. HOWEVER, I had never seen the film, nor did I really know what it was about. When I read the synopsis, I audibly went, “WHAT!?” For some reason I thought this was either a movie about baseball or a romcom or maybe both lmao. Welp. This being another legal drama is right on track for these 1993 films.
Some thoughts: 1) What is this grey filter over the movie!? Everything looks dusty. 2) Young Antonio Banderas was a fucking smoke show, holy shit. 3.5/5
14. Groundhog Day
Bill Murray was back in the news in 2023 for dating…Kelis… I just…the universe works in mysterious ways I guess. When we cycle back on things they return in such weird iterations. He’s a fucking asshole, both IRL and in this movie. That being said, this is still such a novel idea for a film and it produces some genuine laughs. 3.5/5
13. Sleepless in Seattle
I’m not usually one for romcoms, but this one about a woman who has a parasocial relationship with a stranger on the radio and then makes it real (after stalking him for a bit) makes for a pretty enjoyable watch. Bits and pieces of this haven’t aged well, but overall it’s funny and Meg Ryan is charming.
Side note, but this movie makes reference to a man that makes the greatest soup but is the meanest man in America, which obviously reminded me of Seinfeld’s Soup Nazi episode, which led me to google where I learned that both references are based on a real man. Moody icon! 3.5/5
12. Dave
These are the Daves I know I know, these are the Daves I know. Daaaave Kovic, he is a regular guy. He looks like the president and that’s the plot of this movie! These are the Daves I know I know, these are the Daves I know.
Something about the wackiness of this plot feels totally normal for a movie from the 80s or 90s but would just feel completely out of place in the 2020s. Are we less fun now, as a society? I think so. 3.5/5
11. Free Willy
Honestly, this movie mostly holds up and still makes for a great kid’s movie. I wonder how many marine biologists, animal rights activists, and anti-capitalists this movie is responsible for?
Portland Monthly has done a recent look back at the legacy of Keiko (Willy) and the impact the film had on marine conservation and animal rights. Portland Monthly Article.
Interestingly, like Bill Murray, Orcas were also back in the news this year but this time for attacking boats, spearheading new discussions about conservation and the human impact on nature. 4/5
[The Cream of the Crop: 10-1]
The Cream of the Crop: 10-1
10. Grumpy Old Men
I’ve always loved this movie. Not everything completely holds up, but it does well enough. Still entertaining. Still made me laugh. Would absolutely watch it again. I will fight you in the comments if you think this is rated too highly. 4/5
9. Demolition Man
Mellow greetings, all. I CAN’T BELIEVE Cliffhanger brought in more money than this!? This movie is SO FUN! Cryogenics, a silly and imaginative look at what our very near future could have been, Wesley Snipes as an eccentric villain that would give any of Batman’s Rogues Gallery favourites a run for their money, and Sylvester Stallone as a meathead reanimated cop. ACAB, but Sandra Bullock looks so hot in her future cop outfit. It’s also very cute to see a young Bullock and Benjamin Bratt being goofy and naïve together pre-Miss Congeniality.
This movie is far from perfect (it’s got so many issues) but I thoroughly enjoyed it. This feels like a forgotten iconic fashion film too. The future looks are fire! Like truly, every single outfit is INCREDIBLE. 4/5
8. Cool Runnings
Maybe not everything about this movie holds up today – but it’s still so enjoyable and fun. It’s also just incredibly re-watchable, with great pacing to keep the viewer engaged. 4/5
7. Last Action Hero
With character names like Dekker, Skeezy, and The Ripper, this is peak ‘90s action movie. Did you know that both Sir Ian McKellen and Tina Turner are in this movie? There’s a Hamlet parody with Schwarzenegger which is kind of iconic!? This movie is unhinged in all right ways and is…really good…?!?!?!?!?!?
I think it’s actually a very clever and fun commentary on action films and their appeal to audiences. It pokes fun at the stereotypes and issues within action films while also highlighting what’s so enjoyable about them. It’s also sort of…kind of…action movie camp?!?!?!? Honestly, if you haven’t seen it – I do recommend it. It’s better than you think it is, it’s legitimately funny, it’s way smarter than it has any right to be, and it’s way better than ratings suggest. 4/5
6. In the Line of Fire
Directed by Wolfgang Peterson, Clint Eastwood plays a Secret Service agent that was working when President Kennedy was assassinated. In a sick twist of fate, he ends up going head-to-head with a lunatic obsessed with the Kennedy assassination who plans on assassinating the current president. Eastwood’s character is determined not to be involved with the assassination of 2 presidents which kicks off a totally thrilling cat-and-mouse game.
This movie is similar to others on the list, like The Fugitive or The Firm or The Pelican Brief, but In the Line of Fire just does it better than the rest. It’s a much tighter movie in basically every sense. All the characters are interesting, the pacing is fantastic, and Clint Eastwood is unexpectedly funny and very charming. John Malkovich and Clint Eastwood play off each other perfectly (the dynamic reminded me of Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster). Surprisingly, In the Line of Fire holds up much better than a lot of others on this list. 4.5/5
5. Addams Family Values
Another iconic movie – not much to say here either as I think this is one of ONTD’s faves as well as mine! 4.5/5
4. Jurassic Park
Full disclosure – I had never seen Jurassic Park. I know, I know! It always seemed very corny to me (and it for sure is corny at times) and I just had no desire to watch it. BUT, this movie exceeded my expectations and it mostly holds up. I liked how it gives a fair amount of time to the philosophical and ethical debate surrounding scientific advancement.
The fact that this film opens with a workplace death sparking an insurance/legal crisis was very grounded in reality for a film about dinosaurs (despite the obvious conflict of interest at play with these experts consulted for opinions) lol. I also fully believe one of our unhinged billionaires of today would try to make something like this happen – probably by partnering up with that crazy blood scammer lady despite her utter uselessness and imprisonment.
Anyway, Jeff Goldblum is creepy and Newman of course fucked shit up for everyone! Newman! But the effects are good, acting is good, pacing is good (but does feel a little longer than it needs to be), and the story is good! I didn’t like how it felt like merch was basically baked into the concept of this film, with a dedicated shot IN the film of cool 90s Jurassic Park merch which was kind of off-putting. I know it makes sense within the context of the movie, but I definitely felt like I was being advertised to directly.
That kid blasting off the electric fence was hilarious lol. 4.5/5
3. Dennis the Menace
I loved this movie as a kid and I’m so happy to find out that it holds up! It’s still a funny, enjoyable family movie. It made me laugh. The acting is great. As an adult, it’s enjoyable in a whole new way – especially with Walter Matthau’s exasperated Mr. Wilson character feeling much more relatable. Natasha Lyonne plays a young babysitter and she was even cool back then lol. The score surprisingly slaps – a quick google and, of course, composer king Jerry Goldsmith! Name a more iconic movie scene than the Dennis the Menace bean scene – you can’t! I will die on this hill that this is a 5/5 movie!
2. The Nightmare Before Christmas
This is the movie on the list that I’ve seen the most over the years. It’s a favourite of mine that I love to re-watch. I still think it’s one of the most incredible and unique films ever made. 5/5
1. Schindler’s List
There’s not much to say here really – this one is a masterpiece and a classic for a reason. Spielberg was really on a roll in 1993. 5/5
Final Thoughts:
Mostly very white, very male, very heteronormative. Common themes include dead wives, lawyers, architects, politicians, assassinations, mistaken identity/imposters, and the dude who plays Jigsaw in the Saw franchise (he’s literally in 4 of these movies lmao – good for you, Tobin Bell!).
Lots of adult thrillers (many of which did not hold up). Some notable wacky adult comedies – a genre I’d like to see more of today. And a ton of kids’ movies that aren’t animated! Do those still exist?
I was also struck by how many of these movies took place in settings other in LA or New York – there was a surprising amount of variety here! Seattle (Sleepless in Seattle), Memphis (The Firm), Punxsutawney (Groundhog Day), Louisiana (The Pelican Brief), Colorado (Cliffhanger) – it’s a real tour of America! That feels…a little more rare now (multiverses don’t count).
Movies of Note That Didn’t Crack the Top 30 at the Worldwide Box Office: Hocus Pocus, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, The Joy Luck Club, The Sandlot, The Age of Innocence, The Secret Garden, The Adventures of Huck Finn, Coneheads, Super Mario Bros., So I Married and Axe Murderer, Robocop 3, Dazed and Confused, and Six Degrees of Separation.
[ONTD Bonus Movie Content:]
ONTD Bonus Movie Content:
Below are some ONTD Originals related in some way to this post that are excellent and worth checking out – either for the first time or revisiting them for a refresher!
•ONTD Original – SOME Reasons Why Jurassic Park Is The Most Iconic Movie Ever. Fact.
•Infamous Interviews: Julia Roberts for every magazine ever in the 90s
•ONTD Original: ‘I didn’t say it was good, I said I liked it’
This list features 1993’s “Son-In-Law” which came in at number 43 on the worldwide box office list for ’93! It brought in just under 36.5 mil!
•ONTD Original: Wholesome Movie Trivia: 1990s Edition
Will you be revisiting any of these films for their 30 year anniversary, ONTD?
Source: Box Office Mojo for the data.
Other Sources: Gif 1 / YouTube 1 / YouTube 2 / Portland Monthly Article. / Gif 2
