Martin Freeman<\/a> ended.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Amanda Abbington considered taking her own life<\/p>\n
The 49-year-old actress – who has Joe, 17, and Grace, 15, with her former partner – was left feeling a “mess” after the 2016 break-up and was spurred on to seek help from a therapist after hitting rock bottom because she “hated” herself.<\/p>\n
Speaking on the ‘Full Disclosure’ podcast about what she’s now kinder to herself, she said: \u201cIt was breaking up with Martin and then realising I needed to sort myself out because I was a bit of a mess. I hated myself.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was funny because the other day, and I\u2019ve never told anyone, not even my therapist, I\u2019d had a row with Grace because she couldn\u2019t find her uniform and was late for school.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo in the end I had to drive her to school instead of the bus and I was sitting in the car and I was having a go at her and I was getting nothing back from her because she\u2019s a 15-year-old and she\u2019s going through all this stuff.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cShe\u2019s a girl, I\u2019m a mother \u2014 rage, anxiety.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cAnd I was sat there as I was driving, in my head, and I haven\u2019t said this since I started therapy six years ago, \u2018you could always kill yourself\u2019.”<\/p>\n
\nAmanda – who is now engaged to Jonathan Goodwin – admitted taking her own life had been a “genuine option” for her several times over the years if she felt she wasn’t doing things as well as she could.<\/p>\n
\nShe added: \u201cAnd that was what my mantra used to be.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIf you\u2019ve let people down and upset somebody or if you\u2019re not being the best you can or you\u2019re a bad mother, or you\u2019re not stepping up with your acting, you can always kill yourself.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cThat was a genuine option for me, quite a few times in my life.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cThen I don\u2019t have to be this bad \u00adperson because I don\u2019t have to be here any more.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cAnd I thought about that and I thought, \u2018Oh my God I haven\u2019t thought about that in six years\u2019.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIt all stems back to childhood and who you surround yourself with and what you put out there, the signals you send out.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cPeople go, \u2018Oh there\u2019s a vulnerable person with anxiety and low self esteem, I can use that and push that person down\u2019. You attract what you think you deserve.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\n
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