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Before you get engaged, a wedding registry<\/a> sounds like one of the most fun parts of getting married. Mandatory shopping? For things I won\u2019t have to pay for? Seems like reason enough to pop the question. But like most aspects of planning the big day, it\u2019s likely to have you breaking out in flop sweat soon enough.<\/p>\n When I got married, I was freaked out by the registry. I couldn\u2019t understand what entitled me to gifts more than my single friends; I was haunted by that episode of “Sex and the City” when Carrie reacts to a litany of baby showers by registering her child-free self for shoes. Okay, so my existing plates didn\u2019t match, but I wasn\u2019t eating off the floor. If my fianc\u00e9 and I could afford to throw even a modest wedding, surely we could buy ourselves some kitchen towels.<\/p>\n Around this time, a friend told me that a wedding (and a registry) is like a barn raising. It\u2019s about the couple, sure, but it\u2019s also about what those two people bring to the people around them. Your community helps you set yourselves up so that you can be stronger and better members of it. When I started viewing my registry as a foundation from which I could be more generous with my loved ones, I got really excited about sourcing things that would make us better cooks, hosts, and handymen.<\/p>\n So what\u2019ll do that for you? That depends on who you are as a couple, and what you need. Some pairs have spent the first few years of their relationship eating off Goodwill plates and sleeping on flannel sheets their mom bought them at Kohl\u2019s; others already have the basics but desperately require a vacation to be their best selves. Luckily, you can register for just about anything these days\u2014from mortgage funds and charity donations to bonding experiences (think: lessons, season tickets, wakeboarding). Side-by-side massages in the newlyweds\u2019 hometown after the wedding madness subsides can set some couples up for a lifetime of happiness better than any spoons could.<\/p>\n When my husband and I got married, it was mere months before the world went into COVID-19 lockdown. The gifts we received proved essential to streamlining our suddenly very at-home life, helping us stay connected to those both far and near, and to each other. Read on for some of my takeaways from that experience (and an essential shopping list).<\/p>\n 1. Register early.<\/strong> It may sound greedy, but this should be one of the first things you do. Folks may want to get you an engagement gift!<\/p>\n 2. Think about what will be fun for your guests to gift.<\/strong> People want to give you memorable items; refrain from registering for a trash can (unless it\u2019s a really nice one).<\/p>\n 3. Avoid trends.<\/strong> You\u2019ll want to have these items around for a while. When in doubt, go for less disposable, more timeless items.<\/p>\n 4. Don\u2019t feel boxed in by registry norms.<\/strong> Browse Etsy for unique antiques or quirky vases shaped like bananas, list a point-and-shoot film camera to document your honeymoon, request a custom neon sign for your living room, or even add a membership at your favorite museum or movie theater.<\/p>\n 5. Think ahead.<\/strong> We registered for things we didn\u2019t quite need yet, but have definitely grown into. Be aspirational, but within reason. For example, having glassware I loved inspired me to host more, but if you\u2019re never going to host Thanksgiving, you might not need a roasting pan.<\/p>\n 6. Consider your invitees\u2019 budgets and tailor the selection (and expectations) to them.<\/strong> If you only have one high-rolling relative, you may not get the Vitamix, Peloton, KitchenAid, and suitcases. That said, enabling group gifting helps!<\/p>\n 7. If you\u2019re short on space, see if a friend or relative will let you store things with them.<\/strong> Just because you live in a small apartment now shouldn\u2019t mean you have to miss out on outfitting your future home. 8. Check-in on your registry from time to time.<\/strong> Some items sell out, and the good ones will get bought up early. If all that\u2019s left is a wooden spoon and an oven mitt, add a few more medium-ticket items to help guests get you a well-rounded gift.<\/p>\n 9. Pay attention to how you\u2019ll receive everything.<\/strong> Our gifts started showing up anonymously the second we made a registry, which was over a year from our wedding date. This was fun, but also kind of strange. See if your registry allows you to set or group delivery dates, and triple check to make sure your address is correct.<\/p>\n With all this in mind, you\u2019re ready to start shopping. The following 20 items are the ones we\u2019ve told our engaged friends to register for, the stuff that\u2019s kept us from a lot of clich\u00e9 quarrels, and the things we\u2019re still using every day. With these items as your launchpad, you\u2019re ready to build the list of your dreams.<\/p>\n
\nIt\u2019s ok to return things. Most people build registries online nowadays\u2014your guests will understand if you wind up hating those wine glasses in person.<\/p>\n
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