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This Is Me\u2026 Now<\/em><\/a> could have come with the disclaimer \u201cfrom the free-roaming mind of Jennifer Lopez<\/strong>.\u201d The visual album from pop star which dropped on Prime on February 16th offers an incredibly earnest look into Lopez’s mind and heart via a musical extravaganza where she is both the subject and star.\u00a0 No stone is left unturned in the imagination of Jenny from the Block, who plumbs the depths of her romantic history via fantastical scenarios that involve everything from clocking hours as a factory worker to therapy sessions with Fat Joe<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/p>\n Lopez was reportedly cautioned by friends and family<\/a> against making the project, which she invested $20 million of her own money into. \u201cEverybody thought I was crazy,\u201d Lopez told Variety<\/em><\/a>.<\/em> \u201cAnd by the way, I thought I was crazy.\u201d Nevertheless she persisted, and gave her fans something so bizarre and quintessentially J Lo that you have no choice but to say, \u201cWow\u2026 she did that.\u201d<\/p>\n Here are some of the most wonderfully out-there moments:<\/p>\n Lopez begins her musical romance movie by regaling the audience with \u201cThe Tale of Alida and Taroo.\u201d According to an old Puerto Rican myth, Alida and Taroo were a pair of star-crossed lovers forbidden from being together by Alida’s father, who had promised Alida to another suitor. Heartbroken, Alida begs the Gods to save her from this fate, and they transform her into a red flower. Then, the gods transform Taroo into a hummingbird, who flits from flower to flower in search of his lost love.<\/p>\n We cut from \u201cThe Tale of Alida and Taroo\u201d to Lopez riding on the back of a motorcycle, gliding across a desert canyon. Although we don’t get a good look at the man operating the motor cycle, he appears to be quite handsome, wearing sunglasses and sporting a five o-clock shadow. In fact, he looks suspiciously like Lopez’s husband, Ben Affleck<\/strong>. \u201cWhenever someone asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always, \u2018I wanna be in love,\u2019” says Lopez via voice over. While riding on the back of that motorcycle she appears to be just that, giddy and gleeful, hair flowing in the wind in a sequence reminiscent of Kanye West<\/strong>‘s music video for Bound 2<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n The ride does not remain smooth for long. \u201cI learned the hard way that not all love stories have a happy ending,\u201d says Lopez as the motorcycle veers off course and crashes in spectacular fashion. She and her beau go hurtling through the air in an accident unlikely to have survivors. Could this be an allegory for her relationship with Affleck, whom she was engaged to 20 years ago before that relationship crashed and burned? \u00a0She doesn’t say so explicitly, but, yeah, it\u2019s about Ben.\u00a0<\/p>\n After the motorcycle accident, Lopez clocks in to her job at [checking notes]<\/em> the heart factory where she [double checking notes]<\/em> mines rose petals to feed to the central heart machine. It seems the heart machine is in danger of failing and the petal level is \u201ccritical.\u201d \u00a0At once, J lo is at on a musical mission to find the last rose petal to feed to the heart machine, which she does while singing a rousing number about how she made it not only through the rain but through the drama and<\/em> the pain.\u00a0<\/p>\n We later find out that the heart factory is not a real factory, but rather a reoccurring dream that she’s been having. In any case, J Lo, dressed as Matt Damon<\/strong> from The Martian<\/em>, feeds the last remaining rose petal to the heart machine before it explodes. This heart, it seems, will not go on.\u00a0<\/p>\n You might assume that a Lopez’s romance album\/movie might feature her one true love as himself. Actually, no. In This Is Me\u2026 Now<\/em>, Affleck pops up as \u201cRex Stone\u201d a Fox News-style television pundit who hosts \u201cThe Truth Report with Rex Stone,\u201d which Lopez watches while lounging in a glass box of an apartment. (How can Lopez afford an all glass luxury apartment if she is a heart-factory worker? \u00a0And why is she watching the equivalent of Fox News? Neither question is answered). As Stone, Affleck wears a terrible blonde comb over wig and veneers big enough to chew through steel. \u201cIn 2012, the number one question people asked is \u2018What is love?\u2019\u201d says Stone. He goes on to read the top questions that are apparently being asked today: \u201cWhy women kill?\u201d \u201cWill I get laid?\u201d \u201cAm I preg-erant?\u201d It’s all very strange, but ultimately worth it to hear Affleck ask the final question, \u201cWhy my poop green?\u201d<\/p>\n In J Lo’s Love Is Blind<\/em>-esque musical film, Fat Joe<\/strong> is her therapist. Yes, the beloved rapper behind such classics as \u201cLean Back\u201d and \u201cWhat’s Luv?\u201d moonlights as a seasoned psychoanalyst, and honestly he seems to be doing a bang-up job. He asks Lopez about her love addiction and questions why she continues to repeat the same cycle of behavior. He instructs Lopez to attend a Love Addicts Anonymous group, so she can get to the bottom of her obsession. He also cuts Lopez off mid-sentence, telling her that her time is up during their session, which is a good lesson in how to set boundaries. In any case, The Soprano<\/em>‘s Dr. Melfi is shaking.<\/p>\n Fat Joe is far from the only celebrity to appear in This Is Me\u2026 Now<\/em>. J Lo arranged a cabal of celebrities to play different Zodiac signs. Led by Jane Fonda<\/strong>‘s wise Sagittarius, the stars form a Zodiac love council who watch and comment on Lopez’s love journey as if it\u2019s an episode of Vanderpump Rules<\/em>. Trevor Noah<\/strong> is the balanced Libra. Post Malone<\/strong> is winning as the outgoing Leo. Keke Palmer<\/strong> is hilarious as the chaotic Scorpio (“Lord, help her love cost a thing,” she quips). Likewise, Sofia Vergara<\/strong> is great as a ditzy Cancer. (“I think I can see my father\u2019s house from here,\u201d she says when she’s supposed to be watching Lopez). Kim Petras<\/strong> plays Virgo as princess-y, Jennifer Lewis<\/strong> pulls double duty as the two sides of Gemini. Jay Shetty<\/strong> pops up as Aries and actual guru Sadghuru<\/strong> plays Pisces. And of course, king of the stars, Neil DeGrasse Tyson<\/strong>, also pops as Taurus.<\/p>\n Those familiar with J Lo lore know that she is very serious about the Zodiac. Legend has it that while auditioning back up dancers, she asked everyone their sign and then promptly dismissed all the Virgos.<\/a> During the credits, Vergara says what we’re all thinking: \u201cThis is one of the weirdest thing I\u2019ve ever done in my life.\u201d \u00a0<\/p>\n J. Lo also doesn’t play about Barbra Streisand. \u00a0Her love of \u201cher idol\u201d Streisand is well documented, with Lopez announcing her marriage on Instagram with the caption \u201cSadie, Sadie married lady\u201d (a classic Funny Girl<\/em> line) and singing Streisand’s classic \u201cPeople\u201d<\/a> in public whenever she gets the chance. \u00a0So, it was no surprise that Streisand popped up in This Is Me\u2026 Now<\/em>, when a heartbroken J Lo watches and perfectly recites Streisand’s monologue from The Way We Were<\/em>. \u201cYou’ll never find anyone as good for you as me,” Lopez says over Streisand’s monologue. “To believe in you as much as I do or love you as much.” \u00a0<\/p>\n Some thornier aspects of Lopez’s past seem to be satirized in This Is Me\u2026 Now<\/em>. One of those moments occurs during an intervention staged by Lopez’s friend group. \u00a0\u201cWe think you might be a sex addict\u2026 relationship addict,\u201d says one of her friends, to J Lo’s disbelief. Of course, J. Lo has walked into the intervention with a new beau on her arm, Bobby, and during the intervention, Bobby accidentally drops a gun on the floor. \u201cI have a license,\u201d screams Bobby as he waves his gun around, proving J Lo’s friends point that may she rushed into the relationship. \u201cRelax, he does security,\u201d Lopez says. By the next scene, she’s off to Love Addicts Anonymous.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\nThe Motor Cycle Accident<\/h2>\n
The Explosion at the Heart Factory<\/h2>\n
Ben Affleck Is Rex Stone<\/h2>\n
Fat Joe Is The Therapist<\/h2>\n
The Zodiac Love Council<\/h2>\n
J Lo Loves Babs<\/h2>\n
The Intervention<\/h2>\n