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Fans who tuned into season 26 of The Bachelor<\/em> didn\u2019t know the half of Clayton Echard<\/strong><\/a>\u2019s \u201cjourney\u201d \u2014 until now.<\/p>\n \u201cI actually love the word journey, so don\u2019t worry about giving me PTSD,\u201d the 180 Degrees: On Mental Health, Mindfulness, and Unlocking Self-Belief<\/em><\/a> author, 29, exclusively joked on Us Weekly<\/em>\u2019s \u201cHere for the Right Reasons\u201d podcast<\/a> about the popular Bachelor<\/em> word. \u201cBut journey just is the best word for it. There is no other word. Experience sounds temporary. It sounds more manufactured to me. Journey encapsulates the highs and the lows and everything in between. It\u2019s a process. It\u2019s a long marathon, but it\u2019s not a race.\u201d<\/p>\n Beginning with insecurities in middle school and high school that followed him into his time within Bachelor Nation, Clayton writes about his battles with body dysmorphia and depression in his new book.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t even know really what I was experiencing. I just had some extreme fixation on me,\u201d he told Us<\/em> of his body image struggles. \u201cIt\u2019s become really easy for me to speak about. I\u2019ve been vocal well before the show about it. I started having these conversations in college and I talk about it in the book, but I opened up to the wrong people and they used it against me. They weaponized my body image issues. They call me \u2018bad body Ech.\u2019 That was my nickname by some of my teammates in college because they knew that I didn\u2019t like my body. \u2026 I would laugh it off, but in reality, they knew it bothered me. That\u2019s the thing where I try to tell people \u2014 when you open up to the wrong people, it will hurt you. But when you open up to the right people, it\u2019ll help you tremendously.\u201d<\/p>\n Viewers were introduced to Clayton when ABC announced he was a contestant on Michelle Young<\/strong><\/a>\u2019s season of The Bachelorette<\/em> \u2014 and the season 26 lead before the show even premiered in fall 2022.<\/p>\n \u201cThey showed me at the beginning [of Michelle\u2019s season] and they showed me at episode 6 when I get sent home or whatever it was. Everyone\u2019s like, \u2018That\u2019s it? You just force-fed us on that last episode. He got a letter from the kids [and] he cried once and now he\u2019s the Bachelor?\u2019 Why is he more deserving than these other men?\u2019 And I got that,\u201d he recalled. \u201cAt the same time, though, my perspective was like, \u2018Well I am a good guy.\u2019 Do I think I deserve it more than these other dudes? Absolutely not. But again, that\u2019s not my decision. I was just asked, so I just accepted it. But then I found out very quickly that people put me up here as far as what they wanted me to be or what they expected out of me.\u201d<\/p>\n During his season of The Bachelor<\/em>, Clayton came under fire from fans \u2014 \u200band his finalists \u2014 when he \u201cfell in love\u201d with Rachel Recchia<\/strong><\/a>, Gabby Windey<\/strong><\/a> and Susie Evans<\/strong><\/a>. When Susie found out that he had slept with Rachel and Gabby, she told the Missouri native that she couldn\u2019t move forward with the process.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve ever shared this, but it just goes to show you how off my thinking became as the Bachelor. I remember there was a point where I was looking at one of the women on a date and I was just, like, so happy. And I was like, \u2018I don\u2019t want this to end. \u2026 I want this experience to last forever,\u2019\u201d Clayton told Us<\/em>. \u201cBecause I was like, \u2018I want her to be in my life, but then I want her to be in my life. This is so incredible. I\u2019ve never been happier. I\u2019ve never felt so much love. I\u2019ve never felt so valued.\u2019 And then all of a sudden, like, the next thought came in like, \u2018What are you thinking, dude? There\u2019s three women here, you have to end this. This is not forever.\u2019 And that\u2019s when toward the end of the show, I freaked out and at one point I cried on camera, and I realized I\u2019m gonna hurt someone. [But I\u2019d] already taken it too far. I poured my entire heart into all this. \u2026 I\u2019ve probably went farther than I should have, but I got lost in the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n In the end, Gabby and Rachel agreed to forgive Clayton \u2014 until he realized he had the strongest feelings for Susie.<\/a> The pilot and the nurse went on to be co-Bachelorettes for season 19 and Clayton and Susie dated for several months<\/a>. They announced their split in September 2022.<\/p>\n