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I love it when games give you the ability to choose your genitals. Not because of the glaringly obvious horny reasons but because, when games give you the ability to customize The Goods, it almost always leads to patch notes like the one we got in the latest Baldur\u2019s Gate 3<\/em> hotfix<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Warning, this will be slightly Not Safe For Work<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n By Larian Studios\u2019 count, the hotfix addresses over 300 bugs and issues, including one it put right at the top of the \u201cGameplay\u201d section, letting you know this particular issue was at the tip<\/em> top of developers\u2019 minds. The hotfix reads:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n \u201cPenises C and D no longer clip through some githyanki clothing.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Well, thank Tyr! I mean, really, how am I supposed to get anything done around Faer\u00fbn if penises C and D keep clipping through my bespoke githyanki apparel. Oh, you haven\u2019t seen bespoke githyanki apparel? Here\u2019s some, courtesy of Lae\u2019zel.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Penises in video games are great because they are always clipping through something. A couple of years ago, Cyberpunk 2077<\/em> hadn\u2019t gotten good yet<\/a>, but everyone was still talking about it because it was essentially \u201cDick\u2019s Out:<\/a> The Game<\/a>.\u201d Conan Exiles<\/em> became infamous for its genital options because not only did the game let you choose the size of your breasts or penis but it also applied its physics engine to your genitals, so whenever your character model flopped around with its ragdoll physics, guess what else <\/em>was flopping<\/em> around<\/a>? <\/p>\n<\/div>\n The patch, which also gives gnomes the ability to wear underwear again, should be available now, so be sure to turn on game updates.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Funny as this all is, though, I do actually have one serious thing to say about genital options in Baldur\u2019s Gate 3<\/em>: they don\u2019t go far enough<\/em>. With penises, there\u2019s only circumcised or uncircumcised, with pubic hair or without, while the only vulva options are grass or bare pavement, if you catch my meaning.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n I understand that, with the sheer size and variability of Baldur\u2019s Gate 3, <\/em>the developers had to pare down the game\u2019s options somewhere. But just as you can customize nearly everything<\/a>, right down to the color highlights on your Tiefling\u2019s horns, you should be able to customize your junk. I don\u2019t want to go full Conan Exiles<\/em> with sliders and the like. But it\u2019d be nice, affirming<\/em> even, if BG3<\/em> genitals had more options, like a vulva with an enlarged clitoris, or a vulva with a puffy labia, small penises, large penises, or even a scrotum-only option. Furthermore, this is a fantasy game! Why are my options so boringly human<\/em>? Where are the barbs? Where are the teeth? <\/p>\n<\/div>\n Baldur\u2019s Gate 3<\/em>\u2019s character creator is a fantastic step in the right direction for creating a truly inclusive, diverse character creator. The simple fact that these genital options are not locked to a gender is worth celebrating. I just hope that, in the future, if some developer wants to give us The Goods, they consider giving us some magic weapons instead of basic equipment.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n