\n<\/p>\n
The YouTuber apology<\/span> video is an art form. A penitent creator must be remorseful, but not theatrical. Concise, but not rehearsed. Honest, but not defensive. Above all, an apology video cannot be memeable, or it\u2019ll never be taken seriously.\u00a0<\/p>\n Colleen Ballinger\u2019s apology saga, however, will be one of the most memorable in YouTube<\/a> history because it just keeps getting worse.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Representatives for Ballinger, who built a devoted following of young viewers as the satirical and often offensive character Miranda Sings<\/a>, are now denying claims that she filed copyright infringement claims on videos reacting to her ukulele apology song.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The song, in which Ballinger addresses allegations of fostering inappropriate and exploitative relationships with her teenage fans, is one of the most absurd attempts at apologizing ever documented online. The fans coming forward accuse Ballinger of sending them unsolicited nudes of another creator<\/a> to make fun of her body, using her group chat of underage fans<\/a> as on-call emotional support throughout her divorce, exploiting and humiliating minors<\/a> during her live shows and above all, abusing the power dynamic<\/a> between herself and her fans.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Her response? A song about the \u201ctoxic gossip train\u201d<\/a> \u2014 an agonizing 10-minute lyrical car crash that dismisses the allegations as misinformation fueled by the \u201cmob mentality\u201d of the internet.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cEveryone just believes that you are the type of person who manipulates and abuses children. I just wanted to say that the only thing I\u2019ve ever groomed is my two Persian cats,\u201d Ballinger croons. \u201cI\u2019m not a groomer, just a loser who didn\u2019t understand I shouldn\u2019t respond to fans. And I\u2019m not a predator, even though a lot of you think so, because five years ago I made a fart joke.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s a mess. Here\u2019s what\u2019s going on.<\/span><\/p>\n Colleen Ballinger, 36, started posting YouTube videos as Miranda Sings in 2008. \u201cMiranda\u201d is a self-obsessed young woman who\u2019s obsessed with stardom, despite her inability to actually sing. The character, who wears bright red lipstick and has a speech impediment, is egotistical, socially awkward and largely ignorant of current events.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ballinger\u2019s musical parodies as Miranda became a viral sensation, and at her peak she had roughly 19 million YouTube subscribers between her personal channel and her Miranda Sings channel. Her videos consisted of vlogs (both as Colleen and as Miranda), trending YouTube challenges, satirical vocal lessons and off-key covers of pop songs. Ballinger was particularly popular with children, and featured other kids\u2019 creators like JoJo Siwa and Sophia Grace Brownlee on her channel.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n As Miranda, Ballinger made offensive jokes that revolved around incest and racist stereotypes. Image Credits:<\/strong> Gregg DeGuire\/Getty Images for Nickelodeon<\/p>\n<\/div>\n As Miranda, she often made jokes about pedophilia, incest and racially insensitive stereotypes \u2014 in <\/span>videos<\/span><\/a>, Miranda would reference the \u201cDaddy Saddle,\u201d an object that allowed her to ride around on her \u201cUncle Jim.\u201d Affinity Magazine <\/span>criticized<\/span><\/a> the character for mocking disabled people and perpetuating harmful stereotypes about disabilities. In 2020, she <\/span>apologized<\/span><\/a> for impersonating Latina women in a since-deleted video with her sister.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n She also regularly toured as Miranda, performing live variety shows blending comedy and music. Ballinger was in the middle of a national tour last month when former fans alleged that she had inappropriate and exploitative relationships with them when they were minors. In the aftermath of her apology video, the remaining tour dates were quietly canceled, <\/span>NBC News reported<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n In a <\/span>2020 YouTube video<\/span><\/a>, then-17-year-old Adam McIntyre said that he had been ghostwriting some of Ballinger\u2019s tweets as her \u201csocial media intern\u201d without pay, and alleged that she had abused her power as a creator to foster inappropriate relationships with her young fans.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n He said that the relationship started when he was 13 years old, and that at one point, Ballinger sent him lingerie. In 2017 and 2018, Ballinger told him that Miranda Sings wasn\u2019t doing well \u201cbecause she couldn\u2019t really be problematic as the character anymore,\u201d McIntyre said in his video, and that she eventually asked him for help with rebranding the character<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n He began suggesting social media ideas for both Miranda Sings and Ballinger\u2019s personal accounts, and she gave him access to the Miranda Sings Twitter account in March 2020. In screenshots McIntyre shared in his video, Ballinger told him that she wasn\u2019t \u201cplanning on taking advantage\u201d of his help and intended to pay him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n That month, McIntyre suggested that Miranda should \u201ccome out\u201d as a Meghan Trainer fan \u2014 which Ballinger approved over direct message. When she received backlash for \u201cqueerbaiting,\u201d however, she told McIntyre that she would \u201cnever post something like that.\u201d She never responded to McIntyre after that, and allegedly never paid him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ballinger responded in a <\/span>video<\/span><\/a> titled \u201caddressing everything.\u201d She admitted to sending McIntyre a bra and underwear in 2016, and said she believed it was \u201cno different\u201d than the other items she sent fans \u201cas a joke.\u201d Ballinger also said that she was breastfeeding her son when she approved the Megan Trainor tweet.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThis was my fault. He sent me a very long list of a ton of different things he wanted to post and I did not look over it closely enough,\u201d Ballinger said.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n In June, YouTuber Kodee Tyler Dahl, 33, posted a <\/span>now-deleted video<\/span><\/a> about why they left Ballinger\u2019s fandom, and shared screenshots of a Twitter chat called \u201ccolleeny\u2019s weenies group chat.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The group chat was for the select inner circle of Ballinger\u2019s fans, most of whom were minors, to directly talk to Ballinger herself. The messages Ballinger sent were highly inappropriate. In one responding to then-15-year-old McIntyre\u2019s request for questions to answer in a YouTube Q&A video, Ballinger asked, \u201cAre you a Virgin?\u201d She was in her 30s by then. In another, McIntyre told the group chat that his \u201cass looks good today.\u201d Ballinger responded with \u201cpics adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Days later, McIntyre posted an hour and 45 minute video titled \u201cmy relationship with colleen ballinger\u201d corroborating Dahl\u2019s allegations. He shared screenshots of interactions in the group chat that he and other members saved, including one of Ballinger asking him what his favorite sex position was. In another, she asked the girls in the chat to tell her about their first time getting their periods.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cShe would just come in randomly and stay stuff like that,\u201d McIntyre said in the video. \u201cTo a lot of people who were underaged.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Ballinger treated the group chat of teenagers as her confidants, and shared personal details about her divorce from YouTuber Joshua Evans. She told the \u201cweenies\u201d that Evans was \u201cemotionally abusive\u201d \u2014 an allegation that Evans denied in an <\/span>interview<\/span><\/a> with HuffPost. Ballinger publicly called on her fans to remain respectful to Evans, but never discouraged group chat members from attacking him in social media comments and on gossip forums. <\/span><\/p>\n Another former fan, Johnny Silvestri, came forward the same week in a <\/span>video<\/span><\/a> titled \u201cThere\u2019s More to the Story (my experience with Colleen Ballinger).\u201d Silvestri, who was not part of the \u201cweenies\u201d chat, accused Ballinger of taking advantage of her fans\u2019 labor. His relationship with Ballinger started after he attended a Miranda Sings show when he was 16, and Ballinger\u2019s then-husband Evans gave him his personal phone number on stage.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n By 2018, when he was 22, Ballinger hired Silvestri as an assistant on her tour. He was paid $125 per show. He accused Ballinger\u2019s close friend and collaborator Kory DeSoto of bullying him throughout the tour, which Ballinger knew of but did not stop, and said that Evans exploited the friendship he started with Silvestri for free help running his social media accounts. Silvestri also said that Ballinger made cruel jokes about her fans and encouraged him to join in on the trolling. In one message she sent Silvestri, she mocked a fan for changing her gender pronouns.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI found solace and safety in this online group of people,\u201d Silvestri told <\/span>Rolling Stone<\/span><\/a>. \u201cAnd these grown-ass adults abused it.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n Evans has since publicly apologized to Silvestri, and in a <\/span>tweet<\/span><\/a> posted after Silvestri\u2019s video, acknowledged that he \u201cfailed\u201d at being a \u201cfriend and internet big brother.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n Silvestri also accused Ballinger of sending him unsolicited nudes of YouTuber Trisha Paytas in messages mocking Paytas\u2019 body, and shared screenshots of the messages in <\/span>now-deleted tweets<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ballinger allegedly sent Paytas\u2019 explicit content to McIntyre, who was a minor at the time, as well. In a <\/span>video<\/span><\/a> titled \u201cdear trisha paytas\u2026,\u201d McIntyre accused Ballinger of buying subscriptions to Paytas\u2019 paywalled sites, downloading her explicit content, and sending it to him when he was 14. McIntyre said he was initially reluctant to speak out about it until he connected with Silvestri.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Silvestri alleged that Ballinger hosted \u201cviewing parties\u201d of Paytas\u2019 explicit content in order to make fun of her body. McIntyre similarly alleged that Ballinger encouraged him to body shame Paytas.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Paytas, who is also an OnlyFans creator and vocal about sex work, posted a <\/span>response<\/span><\/a> titled \u201ccolleen.\u201d She and Ballinger became friends by bonding over being new mothers, and had just launched a podcast together. Paytas said that Ballinger denied the allegations when directly asked, and that Paytas didn\u2019t believe the former fans until she saw the screenshots shared online. She described the messages as barbaric, misogynistic and \u201cdownright cruel\u201d and said that the podcast she co-hosted with Ballinger is over after just three episodes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWe already have a lot of stigma, misconceptions, allegations against us as sex workers \u2026 I do not condone at all unsolicited nudes, sending unsolicited nudes to anybody. Sex worker or not, I think using someone\u2019s nudes as a way to hurt them, make fun of them, make light of them or be mean is the lowest form of human,\u201d Paytas said in the video.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n She added that the content Ballinger sent to fans is paywalled for a reason, and that viewers must be at least 18 to access it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Other fans spoke out about the uncomfortable interactions they had onstage during Ballinger\u2019s live shows.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Her shows often included a \u201cporn bit\u201d and \u201cyoga bit\u201d which used volunteers from the audience. In the \u201cporn bit,\u201d Ballinger (in character as Miranda) would select a fan wearing skimpy clothing and compare them to a fan dressed more modestly. The fan wearing more revealing clothing was \u201cporn,\u201d Ballinger would declare. For the \u201cyoga bit,\u201d Ballinger would attempt difficult, borderline sexual poses with an audience member.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Becky, a Twitter and TikTok user who goes by noitsbecks, <\/span>posted<\/span><\/a> that she was chosen for the \u201cyoga bit\u201d at a 2019 Miranda Sings show. She was 16 at the time. During the show, Ballinger had Becky lay on her back, while she held up Becky\u2019s legs and spread them in front of the audience. Becky, who wore a loose romper that didn\u2019t stay up during the pose, said she felt \u201cterrified\u201d and sexually violated. She also said she felt unsafe leaving the show because of the way she was exposed on stage. She posted a photo from the show on Twitter.<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cColleen exploited my minor body for entertainment and money and did not protect my safety at this show,\u201d Becky said in a TikTok video. \u201cAs an outside looking into the situation, it may seem like this wasn\u2019t a big deal. But this was really pretty scary for my teenage self, especially as someone who loved and looked up to Colleen.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Other former fans spoke out about Ballinger\u2019s \u201csearch for a bae\u201d bit, which involved Miranda stuffing the front of her pants with a bag of cheese balls, and inviting audience members to grab the snack. In <\/span>resurfaced videos<\/span><\/a> on YouTube and Reddit, Ballinger performed the act with children as young as six.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Yes, there\u2019s more!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n YouTubers who have been around since the platform\u2019s earliest days often have unsavory, insensitive content in their archives. Comedy has evolved over the last few decades, and the crass humor that was excusable years ago can be pretty offensive. But Ballinger\u2019s jokes were especially racist, and as clips of her old content resurface in wake of the allegations against her, many online question how she managed to stick around for so long in the first place.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n An unlisted video on her Miranda Sings channel shows Ballinger performing a parody of Beyonc\u00e9\u2019s \u201cSingle Ladies\u201d<\/a> on stage, with a dark paint smeared across her face. Twitter users questioned whether she was performing in blackface. The video, which was posted in 2018, appears to be a recording from Ballinger\u2019s 2010 tour in London, according to YouTuber Paige Christie. The only way to find the video was by <\/span>scanning a QR code<\/span><\/a> in her 2018 book \u201cMy Diarrhe.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ballinger\u2019s legal representatives told <\/span>Variety<\/span><\/a> that she was wearing green face paint, not black, and that before the recording started, Ballinger performed the number \u201cAs Long as You\u2019re Mine\u201d from \u201cWicked.\u201d She painted her face green to imitate the protagonist, Elphaba, in her duet with Oliver Tompsett, who starred in the musical\u2019s original London cast.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n But other old clips aren\u2019t so easily explained.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n In her <\/span>parody<\/span><\/a> of the Korean pop song \u201cGangnam Style,\u201d Ballinger recited gibberish mixed with Japanese words like \u201ctamogatchi\u201d in a vaguely East Asian accent. In <\/span>another<\/span><\/a> offensive caricature \u2014 this time attempting to imitate Native American cultures \u2014 she wears a feathered headdress and speaks in gibberish in a reenactment of the first Thanksgiving.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n April Quioh, a writer who worked on Ballinger\u2019s brief Netflix series \u201cHaters Back Off,\u201d described working with Ballinger as \u201cso, so uncomfortable\u201d in a recent <\/span>newsletter<\/span><\/a>. Ballinger would often pitch scenes that involved Miranda and Uncle Jim getting caught in \u201ccompromising positions or stomach-churning intimacy,\u201d Quioh wrote, and she would try to shove \u201cas much incestual innuendo into the show as possible while assuaging the growing behind-the-scenes concerns that the show would be alienating to the intended audience\u201d of children.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Quioh also alleges that Ballinger insisted that the show cast \u201climited POC background actors\u201d since it was set in Washington, and once demanded that \u201call the Asian shit\u201d would be removed from a scene filmed in an Asian supermarket. Ballinger once bragged that she would never be \u201cstupid enough\u201d to get caught saying a racial slur, Quioh continued. Quioh pointed out that Ballinger said the racial slur itself in this boast.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cIt was almost like she took a weird pleasure in making me uncomfortable and knowing that even if I wanted to, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it,\u201d Quioh wrote.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ballinger responded to the allegations in a June 28 <\/span>video<\/span><\/a>, which started with her sighing, reaching out of frame and picking up a ukulele. Then, she began strumming a cheery tune.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cA lot of people are saying things about me that aren\u2019t quite true,\u201d Ballinger said over the chords. \u201cBut it doesn\u2019t matter if it\u2019s true, though, as long as it\u2019s entertaining. All aboard!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n She then began singing about the \u201ctoxic gossip train\u201d \u2014 a hook that returns over and over again throughout the 10-minute video. Her team advised her against saying anything about the allegations, she continued, but they didn\u2019t tell her she couldn\u2019t sing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n She acknowledged that she may have \u201covershared\u201d with fans, but accused her critics of trying to ruin her life by dramatizing lies and profiting off of the backlash.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t realize that all of you are perfect, so please criticize me, bring out the daggers from your perfect past, and stab me repeatedly in my bony little back,\u201d Ballinger continued. \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019re disappointed in my shitty little song. I know you want me to say I was 100% in the wrong. Well, I\u2019m sorry I\u2019m not gonna take that route, of admitting to lies and rumors that you made up for clout.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The video immediately went viral as an example of the worst possible way to apologize. Screenshots from the video became reaction memes. Clips circulated on TikTok. YouTubers posted reaction videos breaking down the song\u2019s comically flippant lyrics.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Evans, who stopped posting on YouTube about a year ago, responded on <\/span>Twitter<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThis behavior was my reality anytime I spoke up & disagreed with her actions & rhetoric during 2009-2016. I was gaslit too. I was made to feel like I was always the problem,\u201d he wrote. \u201cAny pain I felt was an inconvenience and was belittled. Every ounce of what you\u2019re feeling, I understand.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Soon after Ballinger posted the apology song, certain YouTube videos that included clips of the song were flagged for copyrighted material. The song was also uploaded to Spotify and Apple Music. It has since been removed from all streaming platforms.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n YouTuber and H3H3 Podcast host Ethan Klein <\/span>tweeted<\/span><\/a> that the song \u201cToxic Gossip Train\u201d was uploaded to the music distributor CD Baby, and that a recent H3H3 episode discussing the apology was tagged for revenue sharing with the copyright holder.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Another Twitter user said that their <\/span>Roblox video<\/span><\/a> that used the song was also flagged. YouTuber JabroneyTV <\/span>tweeted<\/span><\/a> that they uploaded the apology video on an unmonetized channel, and immediately received a copyright strike.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Twitter users speculated that Ballinger was either trying to shut down criticism by copyright claiming videos reacting to the song, or that she was trying to profit by getting a cut of ad revenue from every monetized video that includes the song.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Representatives for Ballinger disputed rumors that she was behind the copyright claims in a statement to BuzzFeed News<\/a>. They did not respond to TechCrunch\u2019s requests for comment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ballinger has not posted publicly on any of her social media accounts since uploading her apology song.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When creators post a Notes App apology, they\u2019ll likely continue existing online with few, if any, real repercussions. If the offending action is so egregious that it calls for an apology video, creators tend to lay low for an amount of time, before slowly emerging from their shame den with more content.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n James Charles, for example, has been <\/span>relentlessly pushing forward<\/span><\/a> with his comeback into beauty content after apologizing, coming back and apologizing again for inappropriately texting underage fans. Shane Dawson, who left both the internet and California after <\/span>old racist videos resurfaced in 2020<\/span><\/a>, is back on YouTube and moved back to Los Angeles. Sienna Mae, who allegedly <\/span>sexually assaulted<\/span><\/a> her former friend and fellow Hype House member Jack Wright, is back on TikTok despite the heat she got for her infamous <\/span>interpretative dance apology video<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n Few actually stay offline \u2014 Jenna Marbles, the YouTuber who called out her own racist videos in 2020 in an effort to hold herself accountable, is one of the only creators who followed through.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ballinger\u2019s apology was performative, defensive and all too easily turned into meme fodder. Like other disgraced creators, she\u2019ll have to keep a low profile. Whether she\u2019ll actually be able to make a comeback, considering the allegations that continue to pile up against her and the absolute absurdity of apologizing via ukulele, is questionable. What\u2019s certain, however, is that in an ever-growing history of YouTuber apologies, Ballinger\u2019s video will always stand out as a cautionary tale to creators: If your team tells you not to say anything, that\u2019s not an excuse to sing it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\nWho is Colleen Ballinger?\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n
The first wave of allegations\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n
Grooming allegations resurface\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n
Audience interactions\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n
Other controversies\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n
The apology video\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n
What\u2019s next?<\/h2>\n