\n<\/p>\n
How so?<\/strong><\/p>\n He wants to consume Ruben in a way. He wants to be him so badly. He wants to step into his shoes. He wants to live his life. He wants to be as powerful as he is, and that means taking the things that he most loves: his wife, his life, his very being.<\/p>\n Even beyond Ruben, Niall is a complicated character. He\u2019s struggling with his sexuality and dealing with substance abuse issues. What was your characterization of Niall?<\/strong><\/p>\n He is a hundred people every day, and he isn\u2019t happy with any one of them. And none of those are who he really is. That, after a while, is exhausting. Everything is in this spiral\u2014this self-perpetuating damnation, if you will. He\u2019s on this downward trajectory, this nosedive that he cannot pull himself out from.<\/p>\n So much of that is informed by the conditioning of his mother\u2014that doesn\u2019t seem to be the most healthy relationship in the world\u2014and the absence of a father. It\u2019s unfortunate that he didn\u2019t have this other being, this physical presence in his life, which I think he\u2019s so badly needed.<\/p>\n And then growing up in that place at that time, it was incredibly unforgiving, incredibly hard and damning, especially if you were gay at that time. It just was not something that you did. You didn\u2019t see gay people. I grew up a little bit later, in the \u201990s, but the playground was rife with homophobia, and a lot of it was probably said by people who possibly were gay. When I think about it now, it must have been so difficult at that time and those places, those proud, masculine, working-class, industrial-type places where manhood is a badge of honor. So he\u2019s born out of all of that stuff.<\/p>\n All the way back to Billy Elliot,<\/em> you\u2019ve played characters who have gotten picked on for not being masculine enough. What do you think it is about you as an actor that attracts parts like that?<\/strong><\/p>\n It really is a prevalent theme. I don\u2019t know why that is, honestly. I know that growing up on those playgrounds, I did have a secret. I did go to dance class. I was raised by women. I didn\u2019t have a father. So I didn\u2019t feel particularly connected to any sense of masculinity whatsoever. Had no concept of what that was, really. And I did feel distant from the other guys in school and their love of soccer.<\/p>\n Obviously, there\u2019s a much bigger conversation right now about toxic masculinity and the manosphere that\u2019s ongoing. I\u2019m glad the show\u2019s part of that very vital, important conversation. But I do think, more than anything, the thing that speaks to me the most is just humanity and how willing people are to keep choosing the worst possible decision for them instead of being honest with themselves. I find it miraculous. We human beings are really complex creatures.<\/p>\n