Looking back before he moves forward. Lamar Odom<\/strong><\/a> recalled the highs and lows in his basketball career and personal life \u2014 namely his marriage to Khlo\u00e9 Kardashian<\/strong><\/a> and struggles with substance abuse \u2014 in his new TV special, Sex, Drugs and Kardashians<\/em>, which premiered on Monday, January 2.<\/a><\/p>\n After navigating childhood with a father addicted to drugs, Odom, 43, began to dabble with weed in high school after he was caught cheating on the SATs. His partying \u2014 and love for women \u2014 continued when he started to find success in the NBA in the early 2000s. Things for the then-Los Angeles Lakers star took another turn when his son, Jayden, died of sudden infant death syndrome<\/a> in 2005.<\/p>\n \u201cHis mother let out a cry in that hospital I [would not] have wished on my worst enemy,\u201d Odom recalled. \u201cI had to forgive myself too because when he passed away, I was out partying all night. I wasn\u2019t even in the house. Like a bum. \u2026 [But I also wonder] how it would have affected me if I was there, and I had to see him like that. Some things you just have to give to God.\u201d<\/p>\n Odom and his high school love, Liza Morales<\/strong><\/a>, had previously welcomed daughter Destiny in 1998 when he was 19 years old and son Lamar Jr. in 2002. As his partying and cheating escalated following Jayden\u2019s passing, Morales ended their relationship for good.<\/p>\n After continuing to date a variety of women \u2014 including actress Taraji P. Henson<\/strong><\/a> \u2014 Odom met Kardashian in 2009. They were married 30 days later.<\/a><\/p>\n When asked what \u201cdrew\u201d him to Kardashian, Odom named her \u201cpower and strength,\u201d explaining: \u201cHer demeanor, just the way she carried herself. And her eyes reminded me of my mother\u2019s eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n The twosome began documenting their life on Keeping Up With the Kardashians<\/em> and spinoff Khlo\u00e9 & Lamar<\/em>. Two years into their union, the NBA star was struggling with a trade to the Dallas Mavericks and fell into his old patterns of drug use and meeting up with random women.<\/a> Kardashian pulled the plug on their marriage after he released a video of himself bragging about cheating when he was high in November 2013.<\/p>\n Odom didn\u2019t sign the divorce documents until fall 2015, holding out hope for a reunion. He knew it was over for good after a tense meetup outside of SoulCycle.<\/a> After signing the paperwork, he went to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada and nearly died following an overdose in October 2015.<\/p>\n \u201cI think if I would have passed away that day or those nights, I think [my life] would be considered a tragedy. But the triumphant part is that I pulled through it,\u201d Odom said in Monday\u2019s doc<\/a>. \u201cYou know, I\u2019m stronger than ever. I\u2019m more focused than I ever was in my championship years. I\u2019ve kind of got the same focus. I don\u2019t live life like a druggie anymore. \u2026 I\u2019m so blessed to be here and it\u2019s a thin line between not being here and being here. \u2026 You name me one person who got off drugs and things got worse?\u201d<\/p>\n Odom, whose divorce from Kardashian was finalized in 2016, added that he now has \u201ccontrol\u201d over both his sex and drug addiction.<\/p>\n Scroll through for the biggest takeaways from Sex, Drugs and Kardashians:<\/em><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n <\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCredit:<\/em> Image Press Agency\/NurPhoto\/Shutterstock\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n Looking back before he moves forward. Lamar Odom<\/strong><\/a> recalled the highs and lows in his basketball career and personal life \u2014 namely his marriage to Khlo\u00e9 Kardashian<\/strong><\/a> and struggles with substance abuse \u2014 in his new TV special, Sex, Drugs and Kardashians<\/em>, which premiered on Monday, January 2.<\/a>
\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCredit:<\/em> Asset ID: 1003184q ‘Whiteout’ Film Premiere, Los Angeles, America – 09 Sep 2009 Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom By: Picture Perfect\/Shutterstock\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n \u201cRon Artest<\/a><\/strong> was having a welcome to L.A. party, I was sitting the V.I.P. \u2026 I was there with another woman, a really attractive woman, and I see this girl. I recognize Rob Kardashian<\/strong><\/a>, but I didn\u2019t know who Khlo\u00e9 was at that time,” Odom recalled of meeting Khlo\u00e9 in 2009. “I [let her know] who I was and it\u2019s crazy because after 30 days, we\u2019d be married. That\u2019s spooky.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCredit:<\/em> Lori Shepler\/UPI\/Shutterstock\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n \u201cI used to call her ma. She showed a lot of love. She was cool. I loved her. We all got into business. It was a family business \u2014 you know that, Harvey,” Odom told TMZ’s Harvey Levin<\/strong> of Kardashian\u2019s mother, Kris Jenner<\/strong><\/a>. “I\u2019m comfortable enough [for her to be my manager]. I\u2019m happy enough to do it. \u2026 I made some money. I came out on the positive.\u201d<\/p>\n He added: \u201cI don\u2019t think people really give them credit for their family dynamic. Family is going to go through s\u2014t and I think that they\u2019ve handled their s\u2014t phenomenally good.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCredit:<\/em> Jordan Strauss\/Invision\/AP\/Shutterstock\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n Odom called the spinoff series a \u201cblessing,\u201d adding, \u201cI was an amazing basketball player, but I know me marrying Khlo\u00e9 Kardashian gives me relevance in so many ways in the entertainment world. \u2026 I knew what I signed up for. I was doing business with my wife. It\u2019s her business, so I\u2019m making it my business.\u201d<\/p>\n The athlete called the Lakers \u201cvery supportive\u201d of his decision to film the show, revealing he \u201casked\u201d Kobe Bryant<\/a> for his thoughts. \u201cHe was just like, \u2018You know, if you bring it, [we] don\u2019t care.\u2019 And I wound up winning the NBA Sixth Man of the Year Award, so I knew he had a lot of respect for it. \u2026 That was the happiest I\u2019ve ever been in my adult life. \u2026 She got me everything I wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCredit:<\/em> Henry Lamb\/Photowire\/BEI\/Shutterstock\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n Odom was in a \u201cdark place\u201d when he was traded to the Mavericks while coping with the death of his cousin in 2011. \u201cI got there and I just can\u2019t make a shot. \u2026 Nothing was going right,\u201d the basketball player, who was cut before the end of the season, recalled.<\/p>\n As his career on the court came to a crashing halt, Odom turned back to drugs. \u201cDrugs \u2014 that was my girlfriend. I had a wife and cocaine,\u201d he said. \u201cFor part of my marriage, I had to tell [Khlo\u00e9]. You can\u2019t hide that forever. \u2026 She was hurt, but Khlo\u00e9 was a good wife. She wasn\u2019t dismissive or [saying], \u2018Get away from me.\u2019 \u2026 She was protective and wanted to protect me even more. She [stood by me]. I mean behind the scenes, I put her through some s\u2014t. Like s\u2014t that y\u2019all don\u2019t know. \u2026 The stories that y\u2019all don\u2019t know is, like, really crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCredit:<\/em> Broadimage\/Shutterstock\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n Odom admitted that he had \u201cthese random women coming out\u201d of the woodwork. \u201cIt seemed like they all came out at one time. I\u2019m having full-blown relationships on the road. My wife is Khlo\u00e9 Kardashian, I\u2019m bugging. I\u2019m laughing out of embarrassment right now \u2014 how [did I think I] was going to get out of that one? \u2026 Like, what could I actually tell Khlo\u00e9 to leave her for a couple of hours to even, like, leave to go do drugs with some random woman? I\u2019m going so heavy with drugs, [one] woman actually gets into my phone and actually calls Khlo\u00e9 and goes, \u2018You gotta come get him. He\u2019s f\u2014king going crazy. He\u2019s gonna kill himself.\u2019 \u2026 They took me to go get help that night.\u201d<\/p>\n In September 2013, Odom was caught by Kardashian with a woman named Polina Polonsky.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cI wound up getting in contact with Khlo\u00e9 and asked her, ‘[Did that really] happen?\u2019 She was laughing about it, like, \u2018Yeah, Lamar I had to beat some bitches\u2019 ass.\u2019 \u2026 Obviously, she had to have somebody tailing me or following me,\u201d Odom recalled.<\/p>\n According to the doc, the \u201cfinal straw\u201d for Kardashian was a social media video of a high Odom rapping about cheating on her.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCredit:<\/em> Shutterstock\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n Two years after Kardashian filed for divorce, Odom was photographed trying to talk to her outside of an exercise class.<\/p>\n \u201cAs far as I can remember \u2014 I\u2019m a little foggy \u2014 but as far as I can remember, she kind of hooked it up for me to meet Khlo\u00e9 down at SoulCycle. I get down there and she kind of treated me like she didn\u2019t know me, which was hurtful a little bit. She was kind of, like, making a scene and then, like, paparazzi came out of nowhere. So I\u2019m hurt by that. Then it kind of came out that I tried to put my hands on her or something like that \u2014 then I\u2019m really hurt. I got a little defensive.\u201d<\/p>\n The doc then cut to footage of an angry Odom outside of TMZ Offices in August 2015, yelling about how the outlet made him look like he was \u201cstalking\u201d his ex.<\/p>\n When asked whether he now thinks he was \u201cset up\u201d by Jenner, Odom isn\u2019t sure, responding: \u201cWhat would you be setting up? \u2026 What would you get out of that? Trying to ruin me or not make me want to come around no more or have people think about me a certain way?\u201d<\/p>\n Two months after the incident, Odom finally signed the divorce documents, headed to Nevada and went on his near-fatal bender.<\/p>\n (Jenner denied that she told Odom where Kardashian would be when he first repeated the allegations in his 2019 book.)<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCredit:<\/em> Shutterstock\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n During his October 2015 visit to the legal brothel, Odom noted that he handed over his credit card and said to charge $75,000 in an effort to \u201coverpay\u201d to try to keep his location secret.<\/p>\n Odom was found unresponsive and in a coma for several days before he woke up and saw Kardashian in his hospital room.<\/p>\n \u201cKhlo\u00e9, you know, she wiped my ass. It don\u2019t get realer than that,\u201d he recalled. \u201cShe would bring me pictures of my mother, my grandmother, help me with my memory. \u2026\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t show how I really felt. I was hardly even talking. I could hardly say, \u2018Thank you, Khlo\u00e9.\u2019 I could think it, but I couldn\u2019t express it.\u201d<\/p>\n He concluded: \u201cI wish at that time I was more cognitive to let her know that how much I appreciate her for that. I couldn\u2019t show how I really felt. I knew it had to be terribly frustrating for her.\u201d<\/p>\n Odom insisted that he didn\u2019t knowingly do cocaine at the ranch, alleging that he was slipped drugs and claiming Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof, who died in 2018, wanted him dead. \u201cI went there. I didn\u2019t do drugs that night. \u2026 I got there, had the drink and woke up three days later ripping tubes out of my neck, not knowing how I got there,\u201d he claimed. \u201cThey told me I was going to never walk or talk again. I walked into this building and I\u2019m talking to you right now. \u2026 This is God\u2019s plan. I\u2019m his son and I\u2019m just living.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCredit:<\/em> Image Press Agency\/NurPhoto\/Shutterstock\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n When his divorce from Kardashian was finalized, Odom was struggling with money. In addition to blowing cash on drugs and prostitutes, he had been funding the lives of friends and family members, including his dad. Odom sold his Lakers championship rings, admitting he couldn\u2019t recall how much he made as he started doing drugs again. (Years later, a fan approached him in the crowd at a Lakers game and revealed he had the rings and returned them for free.)<\/p>\n \u201cThat shows you how strong addiction is. We see it all the time. In Hollywood, we see it f\u2014king all the time,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m just one of the lucky ones that it didn\u2019t take.\u201d<\/p>\n Odom said his \u201clove for life\u201d and wanting to tell \u201cthe Lord thank you for sparing him\u201d has helped him be sober today.<\/p>\n \u201cThe thought of cocaine, as quick as me just saying it, is as quick as it left my mind to do it. I\u2019m from the street, like, I don\u2019t even know how a motherf\u2014ker can put his self in the mix of any cocaine with the s\u2014t that\u2019s going on right now \u2014 all this fentanyl and stuff like that. It ain\u2019t even worth it,\u201d he said.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCredit:<\/em> Matt Baron\/BEI\/Shutterstock\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n Odom said that no one but Kardashian has ever made him feel \u201csecure\u201d enough to get married.<\/p>\n \u201cDo I ever think I could be in love like that again? That could possibly happen. \u2026 If I open myself up enough,\u201d he said, confirming that he would \u201cof course\u201d get back together with Kardashian if she ever gave him a shot. He, however, no longer feels he can or should reach out. \u201cI\u2019m not a loser and I felt like I lost. I would love to just take Khlo\u00e9 out to dinner. … [But] I\u2019m too shy and I\u2019m a Scorpio and I hate being told no or being denied. I\u2019m afraid.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\nLamar Odom\u2019s \u2018Sex, Drugs and Kardashians\u2019 Documentary Revelations<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
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\nAfter navigating childhood with a father addicted to drugs, Odom, 43, began to dabble with weed in high school after he was caught cheating on the SATs. His partying \u2014 and love for women \u2014 continued when he started to find success in the NBA in the early 2000s. Things for the then-Los Angeles Lakers star took another turn when his son, Jayden, died of sudden infant death syndrome<\/a> in 2005.
\n
\n\u201cHis mother let out a cry in that hospital I [would not] have wished on my worst enemy,\u201d Odom recalled. \u201cI had to forgive myself too because when he passed away, I was out partying all night. I wasn\u2019t even in the house. Like a bum. \u2026 [But I also wonder] how it would have affected me if I was there, and I had to see him like that. Some things you just have to give to God.\u201d
\n
\nOdom and his high school love, Liza Morales<\/strong><\/a>, had previously welcomed daughter Destiny in 1998 when he was 19 years old and son Lamar Jr. in 2002. As his partying and cheating escalated following Jayden\u2019s passing, Morales ended their relationship for good.
\n
\nAfter continuing to date a variety of women \u2014 including actress Taraji P. Henson<\/strong><\/a> \u2014 Odom met Kardashian in 2009. They were married 30 days later.<\/a>
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\nWhen asked what \u201cdrew\u201d him to Kardashian, Odom named her \u201cpower and strength,\u201d explaining: \u201cHer demeanor, just the way she carried herself. And her eyes reminded me of my mother\u2019s eyes.\u201d
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\n[jwplayer ljWYCu9m-zhNYySv2]
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\nThe twosome began documenting their life on Keeping Up With the Kardashians<\/em> and spinoff Khlo\u00e9 & Lamar<\/em>. Two years into their union, the NBA star was struggling with a trade to the Dallas Mavericks and fell into his old patterns of drug use and meeting up with random women.<\/a> Kardashian pulled the plug on their marriage after he released a video of himself bragging about cheating when he was high in November 2013.
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\nOdom didn\u2019t sign the divorce documents until fall 2015, holding out hope for a reunion. He knew it was over for good after a tense meetup outside of SoulCycle.<\/a> After signing the paperwork, he went to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada and nearly died following an overdose in October 2015.
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\n\u201cI think if I would have passed away that day or those nights, I think [my life] would be considered a tragedy. But the triumphant part is that I pulled through it,\u201d Odom said in Monday\u2019s doc<\/a>. \u201cYou know, I\u2019m stronger than ever. I\u2019m more focused than I ever was in my championship years. I\u2019ve kind of got the same focus. I don\u2019t live life like a druggie anymore. \u2026 I\u2019m so blessed to be here and it\u2019s a thin line between not being here and being here. \u2026 You name me one person who got off drugs and things got worse?\u201d
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\nOdom, whose divorce from Kardashian was finalized in 2016, added that he now has \u201ccontrol\u201d over both his sex and drug addiction.
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\nScroll through for the biggest takeaways from Sex, Drugs and Kardashians:<\/em><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n![\"Lamar](\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Lamar-Odoms-\u2018Sex-Drugs-and-Kardashians-Documentary-Revelations-3.jpg?w=800&quality=86&strip=all\" "\\"Meeting")
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/figure>\nMeeting Khloe<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
![\"Lamar](\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Lamar-Odoms-\u2018Sex-Drugs-and-Kardashians-Documentary-Revelations-10.jpg?w=800&quality=86&strip=all\" "\\"Lamar")
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/figure>\nLamar Details Personal and Business Relationship With Kris<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
![\"\u2018Sex,](\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/\u2018Sex-Drugs-and-Kardashians-Preview-Lamar-Odom-Says-He-Is-Too-Shy-to-Ask-Ex-Wife-Khloe-Kardashian-Out-to-Dinner-as-Friends-1.jpg?w=800&quality=86&strip=all\" "\\"Filming")
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/figure>\nFilming \u2018Khloe & Lamar\u2019<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
![\"Lamar](\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Lamar-Odoms-\u2018Sex-Drugs-and-Kardashians-Documentary-Revelations-9.jpg?w=800&quality=86&strip=all\" "\\"What")
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/figure>\nWhat Khloe Knew About Lamar\u2019s Drug Use<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
![\"Lamar](\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Lamar-Odoms-\u2018Sex-Drugs-and-Kardashians-Documentary-Revelations-8.jpg?w=800&quality=86&strip=all\" "\\"Cheating")
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/figure>\nCheating on Khloe<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
![\"Photo](\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Lamar-Odoms-\u2018Sex-Drugs-and-Kardashians-Documentary-Revelations-5.jpg?w=800&quality=86&strip=all\" "\\"Lamar")
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/figure>\nLamar Alleges Kris Told Him Khloe Would Be a SoulCycle<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
![\"Lamar](\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Lamar-Odoms-\u2018Sex-Drugs-and-Kardashians-Documentary-Revelations-11.jpg?w=800&quality=86&strip=all\" "\\"The")
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/figure>\nThe Night at the Bunny Ranch<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
![\"Lamar](\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Lamar-Odoms-\u2018Sex-Drugs-and-Kardashians-Documentary-Revelations-7.jpg?w=800&quality=86&strip=all\" "\\"Relapsing")
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/figure>\nRelapsing Again and Finally Getting Clean<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
![\"Lamar](\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Lamar-Odoms-\u2018Sex-Drugs-and-Kardashians-Documentary-Revelations-4.jpg?w=800&quality=86&strip=all\" "\\"Lamar")
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/figure>\nLamar Is Still Open to a Reconciliation With Khloe<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
![\"Tristan](\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Tristan-Thompson-Lamar-Odom-Feud-Over-Khloe-Kardashian-A-Timeline-0002.jpg?w=800&quality=70&strip=all\" "\\"Lamar")
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n