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Melania<\/em>, Brett Ratner<\/strong><\/a>\u2019s Melania Trump<\/strong><\/a> movie, is a purportedly serious film that plays like a mockumentary<\/a>. If you were making a movie that parodied the current first lady of the United States, I\u2019m not sure what you\u2019d do differently.<\/p>\n This interminable, nearly two-hour long film features a running voiceover by Melania, leading us through crucial moments in the twenty days leading up to her husband\u2019s second inauguration: choosing fabric for her coat, making sure her dress is the right length, approving a design plan for the dinner, and perusing furniture for Barron\u2019s future bedroom<\/a>. (Sadly, we never get to see which chest of drawers she picks.) \u201cMy creative vision is always clear,\u201d she intones, returning to that notion throughout.<\/p>\n This is a work of propaganda, but director Brett Ratner is no Leni Riefenstahl<\/a>. Missing are the German filmmaker\u2019s awe-inspiring visuals and hypnotic edits; instead, Ratner substitutes endless shots of the gaudy, excessive Trump aesthetic as Melania floats through Trump Tower, private jets, motorcades, and gala dinners until she lands at the White House. The doc\u2019s opening shot is a panorama of Mar-a-Lago<\/a> in all its gilded glory, accompanied by the Rolling Stones\u2019 \u201cGimme Shelter.\u201d<\/a> \u201cRape, murder, it\u2019s just a shot away,\u201d Jagger\u2019s voice promises.<\/p>\n Before he was exiled from Hollywood by sexual assault accusations<\/a> (he has denied the claims), Ratner was best known for directing the Rush Hour<\/em> movies\u2014so I at least expected propulsive pacing and drama. No such luck: We might as well be watching gold paint<\/a> dry.<\/p>\n It\u2019s hard to tell whether Melania herself finds it all as dull as I did: she remains inscrutable through most of the film, her face frozen into an elegant mask. The only times she genuinely lights up are when Ratner coaxes her to sing along with her favorite song, Michael Jackson\u2019s \u201cBillie Jean,\u201d and later while dancing to the Village People\u2019s \u201cYMCA\u201d at an inaugural event. At several points Melania refers to the death of her mother with sadness, and even has the cameras trail her to St Patrick\u2019s Cathedral, where she lights candles. But throughout, there is no perceptible change in her demeanor.<\/p>\n That departure could\u2019ve been a great segue into a segment about Melania\u2019s past\u2014her childhood in Slovenia, her modeling career, background information that might give context to her transformation into Trump\u2019s consort. But instead, the doc sticks with the minutiae of the march toward Trump\u2019s second term. Unmentioned is the January 6th, 2021 insurrection at the Capitol; instead, the camera just pans over images of the Capitol preparing for the inauguration\u2014now a symbol of Trump\u2019s triumphal power.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n