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Colton Underwood<\/strong><\/a> is speaking out about latest episode of The Traitors<\/strong><\/a><\/em>. <\/p>\n During the fifth episode of season four, the 33-year-old reality star found himself at odds with co-star Michael Rapaport<\/strong><\/a> and there was a moment where it got a bit too personal for the former Bachelor<\/em> star. <\/p>\n Prior to the roundtable, Colton<\/strong> expressed he thought Michael<\/strong> was a traitor and the actor went off, and it continued through to the roundtable discussion. At one point, Michael<\/strong> threw it back onto Colton<\/strong> saying he was a traitor because \u201cnobody in this room would be better at holding a secret than you<\/a>,\u201d which did not sit well with many of the other contestants. <\/p>\n In a new interview, Colton <\/strong>opened up about what went down and how he feels watching it back.<\/p>\n Keep reading to find out more\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThe coming-out process takes a long time, and I\u2019m still very much in my coming-out process, so there\u2019s always little things here and there that sort of re-trigger old emotions. I\u2019m still working on how to process it, and I think you definitely see that come up and hit me,\u201d Colton<\/strong> told EW<\/a><\/em>. \u201cThe reason I said yes to doing a show like The Traitors is it\u2019s not personal. The drama and the intensity of the show is always so game-focused, so I think that\u2019s what just threw me a little bit, is when it got personal and he was using me as a human being instead of my gameplay against me. That\u2019s what caught me off guard, and I think you felt that and saw it in the episode.\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cIn the short time that I got to know Michael<\/strong>, he was self-aware enough. He\u2019s a fast talker, he\u2019s a slick talker, and he said it in one of his interviews, his mouth gets him in trouble,\u201d he added. \u201cI grew up around those types of people. It\u2019s very much like a locker-room-style environment, and I think phrases and little digs and things towards the gay community get thrown out a lot in those type of environments. I\u2019m at a point in my life where I\u2019m definitely not sitting in that emotion. I don\u2019t feel like a victim at all. I know he\u2019s probably watching it back just with a little bit of regret on how he delivered it.\u201d<\/p>\n Colton<\/strong> was asked if he thought Michael<\/strong> was referring to his sexuality, though the actor said it was about game play. <\/p>\n \u201cI could just tell you how I took it, and I did take it that it was not in a gaming way and it was more of a personal dig at my past and what I went through and how I handled myself. I would be the first person to say I\u2019m definitely not perfect, and I definitely made a lot of mistakes,\u201d he responded. \u201cBut at this point in my life, it was five or six years ago when I first started the coming-out process, and I\u2019m in just such a different phase of life with my family and professionally. A lot of therapy. The harder part is just putting myself back into that headspace of where I was at during my lowest.\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cHe apologized towards the end, like, \u2018I didn\u2019t mean it,\u2019 so I have to take him for his word. I\u2019m not holding a grudge against him, but I do think it is important for me in my life at this point to start standing up for myself,\u201d Colton<\/strong> added. \u201cI can only be a punching bag for so long. Even today, seeing some people\u2019s [and] fans of the show\u2019s comments towards me, I can only sit quiet for so long.\u201d<\/p>\n If you missed it, here\u2019s who went home<\/a> on the latest episodes of The Traitors<\/em>. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n