{"id":142535,"date":"2025-01-07T15:15:08","date_gmt":"2025-01-07T15:15:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/entertainment.runfyers.com\/index.php\/2025\/01\/07\/allison-holker-read-stephen-twitch-boss-journals-after-his-death\/"},"modified":"2025-01-07T15:15:08","modified_gmt":"2025-01-07T15:15:08","slug":"allison-holker-read-stephen-twitch-boss-journals-after-his-death","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/entertainment.runfyers.com\/index.php\/2025\/01\/07\/allison-holker-read-stephen-twitch-boss-journals-after-his-death\/","title":{"rendered":"Allison Holker Read Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss’ Journals After His Death"},"content":{"rendered":"


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\n Allison Holker and Stephen \u2018Twitch\u2019 Boss.<\/span> Getty Images (2)<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Allison Holker<\/strong><\/a> found closure after husband Stephen \u201ctWitch\u201d Boss<\/strong><\/a>\u2018 death by reading his journals.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was wrestling with a lot inside himself, and he was trying to self-medicate and cope with all those feelings because he didn\u2019t want to put it on anyone because he loved everyone so much,\u201d Holker, 36, told People<\/em><\/a> on Tuesday, January 7. \u201cHe didn\u2019t want other people to take on his pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

Holker revealed that Boss alluded to being sexually abused by a male figure during his childhood in the entries. \u201cReading Stephen\u2019s journals, and even going back into the books he had read and the things that he was highlighting and lining, really gave me a better perspective of where he was in life and the type of things he was struggling with,\u201d she told the outlet.\u201dIt did have me feel a lot of empathy towards him and sadness for all the pain that he was holding.\u201d<\/p>\n

While preparing for Boss\u2019 funeral, Holker also discovered his secret drug addiction.<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cI was with one of my really dear friends, and we were cleaning out the closet and picking out an outfit for him for the funeral,\u201d Holker said about the \u201ccornucopia\u201d of drugs including mushrooms, pills and \u201cother substances\u201d she had to look up after finding them hiding in Boss\u2019 shoeboxes. \u201cIt was a really triggering moment for me because there were a lot of things I discovered in our closet that I did not know existed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Holker found it \u201cvery alarming\u201d but it allowed her to find clarity after Boss\u2019 passing.<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cThere was so much happening that I had no clue [about],\u201d she continued. \u201cIt was a really scary moment in my life to figure that out, but it also helped me process that he was going through so much and he was hiding so much, and there must have been a lot of shame in that.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\n Allison Holker and Stephen \u2018Twitch\u2019 Boss.<\/span> Jesse Grant\/Getty Images for Disney<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Boss, best known for his all-star appearances<\/a> on So You Think You Can Dance<\/em> and as the regular DJ on The Ellen DeGeneres Show<\/em>, died by suicide in December 2022 at age 40.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is with the heaviest of hearts that I have to share my husband Stephen has left us. Stephen lit up every room he stepped into,\u201d Holker said in a statement at the time. \u201cHe valued family, friends and community above all else and leading with love and light was everything to him. He was the backbone of our family, the best husband and father, and an inspiration to his fans.\u201d<\/p>\n

She continued: \u201cTo say he left a legacy would be an understatement, and his positive impact will continue to be felt. I am certain there won\u2019t be a day that goes by that we won\u2019t honor his memory. We ask for privacy during this difficult time for myself and especially for our three children. Stephen, we love you, we miss you, and I will always save the last dance for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

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