You don\u2019t need the black Apple Watch Ultra 2.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
There\u2019s nothing truly new here. This is the same as the regular Ultra 2<\/a>. The only difference is that this is black. That\u2019s it. It bears reminding: the Ultra 2 is $800. I think we, rational human beings, can all agree it would be simply ludicrous to upgrade for just<\/em> a new color. This would be a no-brainer if the black Ultra 2 was ugly.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Alas, it looks sick as hell.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n This is the Apple Watch Batman would buy<\/a>. Never mind that it\u2019s a mini brick on my wrists. Sliding it on for a photoshoot, I feel something wash over me. No longer am I a sleep-deprived tech reviewer hunched over an overpriced coffee. I\u2019m a leather-clad vampire assassin calmly sipping espresso on a cobblestone street. With the new Reflections watchface in black, I immediately level up 1,000 mystery points. When I switch to the Flux watchface, I\u2019ve morphed into a tech-savvy corporate goth. A grown-up former emo gal who, by day, files taxes on time but still spiritually sticks it to the man because, look, I wore my combat boots to work. (Never mind that they have orthopedic insoles.) I pose for the pictures here, and a Wall Street girlie walks past me. \u201cGet it, sis,\u201d she says, eyeing my all-black ensemble.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n When I return to the office, Verge<\/em> staffers who already have Ultras descend upon my desk. Their faces are pinched, pained. They look at me, eyes hopeful, and ask, \u201cShould I buy this?\u201d And I whisper, \u201cNo.\u201d We all know this is futile. The only way to end temptation is to give in to it. We go through the motions anyway.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Nothing I do with this new black Ultra 2 is any different than my regular Ultra 2. And yet, the latter seems forlorn and shabby on the charger next to the matte darkness of this inky usurper. Until I notice a nigh imperceptible nick. Really, you wouldn\u2019t see it unless I pointed it out to you. I<\/em> only notice it because I keep staring at this watch. But now, I\u2019m wondering how scratch-resistant the custom-blasted black titanium finish with \u201cdiamond-like carbon physical vapor deposition coating\u201d really is. The only way to find out is through rigorous long-term testing. I resolve to wear the cool black watch more. For science. Not at all because I want to feel cool.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n 1\/5<\/p>\n 1\/5<\/p>\n While writing this, I struggle to pick which of these sick photos will eventually make it onto the site. The aura is impeccable. After a bit, I start to feel philosophical about colors on personal gadgets. Why does the pink iPhone 16 spark joy, while my \u201cdeep purple\u201d iPhone 14 Pro Max fills me with incandescent rage<\/a>? Why do I get irrationally happy when something comes in a color that I like? Why does finding the perfect nail polish color scratch a deep-seated itch in my brain? I fall down a Wikipedia rabbit hole, but the ultimate answer is because I like it and it makes me feel something. Life is hard, the news is bleak, and with each passing year, I am acutely aware of how infrequently I allow myself to feel childlike joy.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n It makes absolutely no logical sense to buy the black Ultra 2 \u2014 especially if you already have one. Yet, not every<\/em> purchase has to be made with your brain. Sometimes, and only if it causes no harm, you can buy something simply because it\u2019s fun. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n