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J.D. Vance<\/strong><\/a> is probably sick of all the couch-cuddling comedy<\/a> coming his way. But unfortunately for the Republican VP candidate, the masses can\u2019t get enough of the (false) internet rumor that he wrote about having sex with his couch in his memoir, Hillbilly Elegy.<\/em> Last week Stephen Colbert<\/strong> took cracks at the (alleged) couch-loving king; on Sunday, John Oliver<\/strong> chimed in with a ton of couch-related jokes on his Emmy-winning late-night program, Last Week Tonight.<\/em><\/p>\n To recap: The Vance couch jokes began with a shitpost from the since-deleted X account @ricksrudescalves. \u201cCan\u2019t say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions,\u201d read the viral missive<\/a>, which Oliver shared on his program. The original post even included a fake citation for the fictitious story: \u201c(vance, \ud835\ude29\ud835\ude2a\ud835\ude2d\ud835\ude2d\ud835\ude23\ud835\ude2a\ud835\ude2d\ud835\ude2d\ud835\ude3a \ud835\ude26\ud835\ude2d\ud835\ude26\ud835\ude28\ud835\ude3a, pp. 179-181).\u201d It\u2019s all in the details.<\/p>\n Despite clearly being a joke\u2014and featuring a claim easily debunked by thumbing a copy of Hillbilly Elegy<\/em>\u2014the post gained traction online. On Sunday, Oliver shared some theories as to why. \u201cI think the reason it spread so fast might be that a) nobody read that fucking book, and b) it was incredibly easy to believe,\u201d he said. Then the comedian let it rip, absolutely roasting Vance and his seemingly upholstery-loving face. \u201cIf you ask me to draw a man that fucks his couch, 10 times out of 10, I\u2019m drawing this guy,\u201d quipped Oliver. \u201cIf you ask me to play two truths and a lie with this man, before he\u2019d even open his mouth, I\u2019d shout, \u2018The truth is he fucks his couch!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n At this point some viewers might have been driven to shout a famous Simpsons<\/em> refrain at Oliver: \u201cStop, he\u2019s already dead<\/a>!\u201d But Oliver kept the jokes coming. Vance, he said, \u201clooks like he watched the Tom Cruise<\/strong>\u2013Oprah<\/strong> interview and was jealous of Tom\u2019s shoes\u201d\u2014a reference to when Cruise famously<\/a> jumped on a couch after declaring his love for new girlfriend Katie Holmes.<\/strong> Vance and his supporters would probably accuse Oliver of being glib, but a truly giddy Oliver continued to revel in couch-kink comedy.<\/p>\n His most devastating punch line? \u201cIf you told me the reason you find coins in between couch cushions is because J.D. Vance always leaves a tip, I\u2019d be like, \u2018Yeah, yeah, that sounds right.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Oliver also touched on the media fallout from the post, noting news that the rumor made it all the way to Sweden\u2014homeland of mass couch manufacturer Ikea\u2014and citing the AP fact-check article \u201cNo, J.D. Vance did not have sex with a couch,\u201d an online story later removed for not having gone through the AP\u2019s usual editing process. Despite the story\u2019s removal, \u201cyou can\u2019t say J.D. Vance didn\u2019t have sex with a couch definitively,\u201d Oliver noted. \u201cYou can say that he didn\u2019t write<\/em> about doing that in his book, because that is provable. But that\u2019s not the same as asserting he never fucked a couch, especially because he hasn\u2019t officially denied it.\u201d<\/p>\n Here, Oliver went one step further than Colbert, actually calling Vance\u2019s campaign to see whether the senator would answer that question on the record. Vance\u2019s team\u2019s response? \u201cThey\u2014and this is true\u2014hung up on us,\u201d Oliver said\u2014before making the shrewd observation that hanging up is not, in fact, a denial. Oliver and his team then followed up via email and text message, asking whether Vance had ever had sex with a couch or \u201cany other furniture or household items.\u201d As of Last Week Tonight<\/em>\u2019s taping, Oliver had not yet received a response.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n