{"id":113550,"date":"2024-07-23T18:33:16","date_gmt":"2024-07-23T18:33:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/entertainment.runfyers.com\/index.php\/2024\/07\/23\/anna-marie-tendler-details-intense-suicidal-ideation-in-memoir\/"},"modified":"2024-07-23T18:33:16","modified_gmt":"2024-07-23T18:33:16","slug":"anna-marie-tendler-details-intense-suicidal-ideation-in-memoir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/entertainment.runfyers.com\/index.php\/2024\/07\/23\/anna-marie-tendler-details-intense-suicidal-ideation-in-memoir\/","title":{"rendered":"Anna Marie Tendler Details \u2018Intense Suicidal Ideation\u2019 in Memoir"},"content":{"rendered":"


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Donato Sardella\/Getty Images for The Other Art Fair<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Anna Marie Tendler<\/strong><\/a>, the ex-wife of comedian<\/a> John Mulaney<\/strong>, detailed the moments after she checked herself into a mental health facility in an excerpt from her upcoming memoir, Men Have Called Her Crazy<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s note: The below story contains discussion about suicidal ideation, eating disorders and self-harm.<\/em><\/p>\n

In the excerpt published<\/a> by Elle<\/em> on Tuesday, July 23, Tendler, 39, recalled the hospital staff taking her suitcase and interacting with members of the check-in staff.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey are warm, but not too warm, hardened from years of dealing with bulls\u2013t from patients who check in against their will, who are angry to be here, and who take their anger out on the first line of duty,\u201d Tendler shared. She noted that the employees \u201cquickly accommodate their approach\u201d based on each patient.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you, like me, have chosen to be here, are relieved, even happy to be here, they will speak to you in soft voices, ask you if you\u2019re comfortable, and offer you snacks,\u201d she recalled. \u201cI only accept a paper cup of water.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tendler added that she held back tears while explaining that \u201cintense suicidal ideation, self-harm<\/a>, disordered eating\u201d had brought her to the facility. \u201cThe nurse then assesses me for suicide risk,\u201d she wrote.<\/p>\n

Remembering the conversation, the nurse asked Tendler if she \u201cthought about taking [her] life in the past 48 hours,\u201d if she has \u201cthe means to carry out this plan\u201d and if she\u2019s been experiencing \u201cfeelings of worthlessness.\u201d Tendler answered \u201cyes\u201d to all three questions.<\/p>\n

\u201cOn a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the greatest, how great is your desire to die?\u201d the nurse asked. Tendler replied, \u201cEleven.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Tendler explained to readers that her decision to check into the facility came \u201con the recommendation of my therapist\u201d who \u201cwas at a loss for what to do with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI arranged ahead of time to stay in the women-only house because I absolutely refuse to be around men,\u201d Tendler continued. Her therapist warned her that the medical team would be \u201cmostly men\u201d with only \u201cone female social worker.\u201d<\/p>\n

While speaking with a male psychologist, Tendler shared her past \u201cconsensual\u201d sexual experiences with older men when she was underage. One part of her conversation with the doctor revolved around a suicide note.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to die, but I cut myself instead, and that cutting wasn\u2019t meant to kill me,\u201d she explained, noting that she was looking to \u201crelieve my pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

Reflecting on the \u201cabsurdity\u201d of the note she wrote, Tendler told readers it was full of \u201cself-involvement\u201d along with \u201cvenom and rage.\u201d<\/p>\n

However, there were also undertones of \u201cdeep depression,\u201d along with \u201cworthlessness and anxiety,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n

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\n\t\t\tRelated: <\/span>Stars Open Up About Anxiety<\/span><\/a>
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\n\t\t\tNot alone. Anne Hathaway, Kendall Jenner,\u00a0Stephen Colbert and more stars have opened up about their struggles with anxiety and how they cope. The Devil Wears Prada actress, for her part, opened up about how she used to get nervous when attending public events but now feels calmer and more confident. \u201cI don\u2019t know, I\u2019m just [\u2026]\t\t<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cI was a woman losing her grip on a life I was holding so tightly to,\u201d she recalled. \u201cConsumed by embarrassment at the note\u2019s contents, I ripped it into tiny pieces the following day and scattered it into various garbage cans inside my New York City apartment.\u201d<\/p>\n

Following her discussion with the psychologist, Tendler recalled looking for a snack.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have not eaten much<\/a> in the past seven months, but in truth, I do not like not eating. I feel like s\u2013t all the time \u2014 tired, weak, nauseous from my stomach trying to eat itself,\u201d she added. \u201cI know it\u2019s doing nothing to help my mental health, but I find comfort in how bad not eating has made me look.\u201d<\/p>\n

She eventually landed on a bag of Doritos before the nurse took her vitals.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have a hope or a goal in mind for your stay here?\u201d the nurse asked. Tendler responded, \u201cMy wish for myself is that one day I\u2019ll reach a place where I can face hardship without trying to destroy myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

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