Think about the last thing you bought that truly excited you — a new phone, a pair of shoes, a piece of furniture. Now think about how long that excitement lasted. A few days? A week? Compare that to the last great experience you had — a road trip with friends, a memorable dinner, a concert that gave you chills. Chances are, the memory of that experience still brings a smile to your face.
It turns out there’s a reason for that, and it’s backed by decades of research.
The Problem With Buying Things
Most of us operate under the assumption that owning nice things makes us happy. It’s a belief so deeply woven into daily life that we rarely question it. But psychologists who study the relationship between money and happiness have found that the joy we get from material purchases tends to be surprisingly short-lived.
Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University who studies the topic, explained the phenomenon in an interview with Fast Company.
“One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation,” Gilovich shared. “We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed. But only for a while. New things are exciting to us at first, but then we adapt to them.”
That word adaptation is at the heart of the issue. New possessions bring a burst of happiness that fades as they become part of everyday life. The sleek new gadget that once dazzled you eventually becomes just another item sitting on your desk or in your pocket. It blends into the background of your routine, and the thrill evaporates.
Experiences, on the other hand, follow a very different emotional arc.
Why Experiences Stick With Us
Research suggests that experiences tend to create deeper, longer-lasting happiness than material possessions. While things may be exciting at first, their emotional impact quickly diminishes. Experiences, however, continue to enrich our lives through memory and meaning.
What makes experiences so durable is the way they live on in our minds. They remain vivid and often grow sweeter over time through reflection and storytelling. You might not remember exactly what you got for your birthday three years ago, but you probably remember the surprise party your friends threw or the weekend getaway you took to celebrate.
The happiness that comes from experiences doesn’t just happen in the moment, either. The excitement of planning an event or adventure builds happiness before it even happens. And later, recalling that experience continues to trigger positive emotions. The pleasure from a purchase, by contrast, tends to peak quickly and fade.
Amit Kumar, a co-author of a 2014 study on the relationship between happiness, material goods, and experiences alongside Gilovich, illustrated this distinction in an interview with The Atlantic.
“You can think about waiting for a delicious meal at a nice restaurant or looking forward to a vacation,” Kumar said, “and how different that feels from waiting for, say, your pre-ordered iPhone to arrive. Or when the two-day shipping on Amazon Prime doesn’t seem fast enough.”
The anticipation of an experience feels fundamentally different from the anticipation of receiving a product. One fills you with excitement and imagination; the other often breeds impatience.
The Social Connection Factor
Another powerful reason experiences outperform possessions in the happiness department is their ability to bring people closer together.
Shared experiences foster stronger social connections, which researchers link to long-term well-being. Whether it’s a trip with friends or attending a concert with a partner, moments spent with others often strengthen relationships and produce memories that outlast the transient satisfaction of owning things.
A new television might entertain you in the moment, but a weekend road trip with your closest friends creates stories you’ll retell for years. Those shared stories become part of the fabric of your relationships, reinforcing bonds in ways that material goods simply cannot.
The Comparison Trap
There’s another subtle way material purchases can undermine happiness: social comparison.
When we look at material items, we often evaluate them against what others have, and that social comparison can diminish our satisfaction. You might love your new car until your neighbor pulls into their driveway with a newer model. While this kind of comparison can sometimes happen with experiences, they feel more personal and subjective, making it more difficult to engage in direct comparisons.
Your weekend camping trip is uniquely yours. Someone else’s vacation is unlikely to make yours feel lesser in the same way someone else’s fancier handbag might diminish your satisfaction with the one you just bought.
Even Bad Experiences Have Value
Here’s something that might surprise you: even imperfect experiences can become valuable memories. Stories about mishaps, unexpected moments, or adventures that didn’t go as planned frequently turn into cherished recollections. The flat tire on a road trip or the rainstorm that crashed your picnic can become a hilarious story you love telling at dinner parties.
Items we buy that don’t work, on the other hand, are just disappointments or frustrations. A broken appliance doesn’t become a fond memory — it becomes a headache.
This resilience is part of what makes experience-based happiness so robust. Experiences have a way of being reframed and reinterpreted over time, gaining new layers of meaning and humor that possessions never develop.
What This Means for Gift-Giving
This research carries a practical takeaway that could change how you approach birthdays, holidays, and special occasions.
The next time you’re thinking about what to get a partner, friend, or family member for their birthday or a holiday, consider an experience-based gift. Whether it’s tickets to see a movie or concert you’ll both like, or a weekend camping trip together, you’ll both savor the memories for years to come.
Instead of wrapping a box, you could be handing someone a future memory — one that will grow richer and more meaningful with time, long after any material gift would have been forgotten.
The evidence is clear: when it comes to spending money in ways that truly boost happiness, choosing experiences over things is one of the simplest and most effective decisions you can make.
