The Grammy Awards were a major topic of conversation on the clock app. The primary gossip was about:
- Chappell Roan’s dress. Lots of people saying it was trashy and too racy, lots of people saying it was sexy and that people are overreacting.
- Whether Chappell Roan acted like a douchebag when presenting the Best New Artist award.
- Addison Rae’s shitstain of a performance.
- Whether Lola Young deserved to win over Addison Rae (she did).
- Billie Eilish’s anti-ICE speech. The conservatives are already making memes to spoof her.
- Cher messing up her presentation of the award for “Luther.”
- Justin Bieber’s performance in his chonies.
- People freaking out about Bad Bunny winning Best Album. His fans are freaking out because they love him so much. Racists are freaking out because he is a Spanish-speaking Puerto Rican. (They apparently do not realize that all Puerto Ricans are American citizens.)
Did you get an ice storm wherever you are? Because in Philly, one unfortunate woman named Tianna parked her car only to return to it completely covered in ice from a burst water main. The car soon became a tourist attraction, with people climbing on it, sliding over it, taking pictures with it, and even licking it. Tianna’ original TikTok of it has been viewed nearly 39 million times. The car has now been chiseled out; it was totaled, if you were wondering.
Target has released its Black History Month collection. And…it’s…wow. If I had to describe it in a few words? If one had to describe it in a few words, they might be, “CULTURE. QUEEN TINGS. BLUEPRINT. ROOTZ.” And of course, “PRETTY BROWN TING.”
TikTokers are absolutely dragging it and comparing it to those terrible Publix Juneteenth cakes. (The sweater with the picks and combs on it is cute, though.)
A comedian named Ben Palmer made a faux ICE website for people to “report” undocumented immigrants. A kindergarten teacher in New York called in to report the parents of her kindergarten student. She didn’t even know whether they were undocumented — just that they were Latino. She also knew that the child was born in the United States and that his parents had been in the country for at least five or six years. She also calls them “nice people or whatever.” She also admitted to checking school files for information on them, which is against federal law.
Ballerina Farm, the home of trad wife influencer Hannah Neeleman, has stopped selling raw milk after their samples failed safety inspections for e. coli bacterial contamination. Yum.
Lately, a male streamer named Clavicular has been going viral for his bizarre looksmaxxing — using extreme methods to maximize one’s appearance. He is an incel-adjacent, conservative 20-year-old who is obsessed with men’s looks. Viewers have noticed that his flesh looks like it is literally decaying. Possibly because he is allegedly injecting himself with steroids, peptides, various bullshit diet products, and, oh yeah, crystal meth.
Teachers are truly God’s strongest soldiers, because if TikTok has shown me anything, it’s that so many parents are rude idiots. This one mom was pissed off that her daughter keeps getting into trouble at school and got a 1 on handwriting. The mom wrote the teacher a letter and posted it to TikTok, revealing that it was riddled with poor grammar, spelling mistakes, and terrible handwriting. As it turns out, the mom has changed schools multiple times, suggesting that perhaps she, and not the school, is the main part of the problem.
Chef Tini made a comeback video after taking three months off following the death of one of her infant twins from a placental abruption. It’s a happy update: Tini is in good health. She has been donating resources to a women’s shelter. Her husband Antoine is taking good care of her and their other baby.❤️
Your life might be shit, but at least you didn’t get pregnant by a prison inmate you met on TikTok during a conjugal visit who ended up lying to you about why he was in jail! This gal did, though.
TikTok tells me that the current trendy bag is the Baggu Everyday Cloud Bag, particularly in the color coffee.
The dance craze du jour is the “Satellite” dance. The hit by Kevin Gates is currently the top viral song on TikTok.
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