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Ryan Edwards does not just regret his history of addiction and substance abuse.
The worst thing to come of those lost years was that he was a deadbeat dad to his son, Bentley.
Bentley is now a teenager. Maci Bookout is quick to praise him as he is today.
But Ryan regrets the time in his son’s life that they both lost.
Ryan Edwards has some big regrets
During a recent episode of the Dad Up podcast, Ryan Edwards and Maci Bookout both appeared as guests.
Ryan regrets his years of addiction and substance abuse.
He also shared that he regrets “thinking drugs were more important than my kid.”
Bentley is now 16 years old.
“My whole life revolved around drugs and you know, I wish it never happened, but it did, and I cannot go back and change it,” Ryan acknowledged. “So you know, I’m just going to live with it.”
He said that before becoming sober, he “didn’t know how to function without drugs.”
Ryan shared: “You know, now it’s a lot easier and it’s just kind of normal.”
A hint of that normality also extends to his patchwork parental bond with Bentley.
Has he discussed his history with Bentley?
“It’s not been like, in-depth conversations,” Ryan Edwards admitted.
“But it was just kind of like, ‘Hey, this is kind of why, you know, I wasn’t there,’ and stuff like that.” Explaining substance abuse is seldom easy.
“I do feel like there’s such a large part of that where Bentley is going to learn so much from you and overcoming this and sort of starting fresh,” Maci chimed in.
“He [was] not the Ryan that I know,” she continued. “And now, even Bentley’s getting to know Ryan, and see him confident in the man that he is and in the family he’s building.”
Ryan affirmed that he would “definitely answer any questions” for Bentley.
He also admitted that he would feel distressed if his son repeated his old habits, even experimentally.
“If I [were] to catch him, I mean drinking … you know,” he began. “I feel like all 16-year-olds are going to experiment and try it and stuff but my feelings would definitely be hurt.”
Just for the record, plenty of 16-year-olds do not access any alcohol without a parent’s permission.
But some people feel that their own histories are an inevitable script that their children might follow.
Can Ryan’s son learn from these mistakes?
Maci Bookout continued to cheer for Ryan Edwards, saying: “I feel like one thing to keep in mind, Ryan, is that [Bentley’s] gotten to see you overcome [addiction].”
She added: “But also be really proud and I feel like those are tools that he will be able to carry when he hits rough spots in life. You know, just being able to overcome something and grow from it. …”
Maci also thanked him for touching upon these topics, saying:
“That’s massive for Bentley to be able to see his dad say the hard things and have the tough conversions and … see you be happy with yourself, too.”
Ryan understandably does not have many fans. But Maci is clearly in his corner.
