It has been four months since the last new episode of Doctor Odyssey aired on ABC after the eight episodes that made up the fall portion of the season. With the spring premiere happening tonight (3/6) at 9 PM ET, I thought I would write a little recap to get everyone back up to speed about what happened in those eight episodes that will influence the rest of season 1 of ABC’s cruise ship medical drama. Comedy? Is it even about a cruise ship? Spoilers ahead, but if you want to quickly catch up on the most exciting bits, feel free to jump in and join us tonight and then catch up on Hulu or Disney+.
What is the show about?
Doctor Odyssey follows the adventures of the medical center crew of The Odyssey, a luxury cruise ship that seems halfway between a private yacht and Carnival Cruises, ie classy yet trashy. Doctor Odyssey himself is Dr. Max Bankman (Joshua Jackson), a Yale-trained physician who survived (or did he?!) COVID after almost dying and decided to devote his life to having fun actually living. He takes a job on The Odyssey as the new ship’s doctor, where he joins nurse practioner Avery (Philippa Soo) (who aspires to be a doctor herself and will let you know this at least once an episode) and nurse Tristan (Sean Teale), a wealthy British himbo/twunk who went to boarding school, has a lot of mommy issues, and is in love with Avery after years of working together on board. Rounding out the main four is our captain, Captain Robert Massey, a widower with a broken heart who speaks mostly in euphemisms about how the ship is paradise and the crew are angels. This will come into play with the many theories that abound. But you’re not here for Dakota Johnson’s father. You’re here for the sexy medical team! And the theories!
Theories, you say?
Yes. Although people routinely think they have debunked the most popular theory hated by a subsect of fans, since episode 1 a theory has persisted among fans that… wait for it… Max is still in his COVID coma. Or dead. Or trapped in purgatory. Or possibly a computer simulation? Coma fantasy is the most popular, including theories that Avery and Tristan are his nurses in the hospital, or that the Captain is God. Is the Odyssey the Odyssey of taking the dead to the afterlife? There are a lot of bright lights over patients, gold everywhere, everything is just so shiny and bright, everyone is hot, Mexico appears to just be the same beach with different set dressing, and when people depart the ship, they ascend a staircase into a bright light.
The other theory is that this is just a very, VERY fictionalized cruise ship created by people who have never been on a real cruise and don’t know shit about cruising. There is a cross-over with 9-1-1 coming up that some people think kills the afterlife theory, but the cast has said it debunks nothing given that Max somehow manifested his favorite reality star to appear on the ship (the Human Ken Doll, star of a reality show about real life Barbies and Kens living in a beach house in Malibu) where he proceeded to flirt until Ken died and they had to transport Ken’s body on a laundry cart across the pool deck while looking sad. Max also once declared his favorite TV show ever was Full House, but if this is so, then why was John Stamos a guest star as the captain’s brother and part of a loving, caring gay throuple in episode 7 who show Avery the ways of throuple-dom that she suddenly wants to experience? Is Max just manifesting random people from television to appear on the ship?! Are all the guest stars secretly playing themselves?!
Why yes, Max, every week IS a theme. We’ve had singles week, Halloween week, plastic surgery week, gay week, wedding week, Rubber Duck Hunt week (fuck episode 8 tbh), and wellness week.
Wait, a throuple?! A THROUPLE?!
I’ll get to that in a minute. First, we need to catch up on some important events that lead to episode 6.
Ugh fine. What happened?
We meet our trio on the first day of the new cruising season (episode 1 proves nobody involved on this show knows ANYTHING about cruises since cruise ships never even turn off much less take off weeks to prepare for a new season of cruises unless they’re in their once every five years drydock). Avery and Tristan, who have worked together for a few years, are not-so-eagerly awaiting the return of their old boss, who is old and not fun (and possibly bad at his job). Instead, the old doc has retired, meaning the cruise line has hired a new one. Avery readily volunteers to be the doctor despite being an NP (and spouting off some extremely untrue bullshit about being as highly trained as a doctor) but it’s too late, our new doctor has been hired. Meet Dr. Max Bankman, MD – Yale graduate, former MSF volunteer, award-winner, hot dude, daddy (he doesn’t have kids if you catch my drift).
Max almost immediately starts getting called Doctor Odyssey by the other crew. It’s weird. I don’t call my doctor Doctor Hospital. Episode 1 involves a dance off between Tristan and Max on a beach for Avery’s affection, and Max wins, thus beginning a weird arc where the guys fight over Avery in a very homoerotic way and Avery fucks both of them, switching it up each week, unless episode 6, when Tristan breaks up Avery and Max’s fake wedding (which was a rehearsal for a real wedding between… You know what, I’m not explaining that episode, it’s a LOT) and we realize this show wasn’t baiting us after all!
The show quickly goes off the rails, but in the most wonderous WTF way possible. Here are some cases we experience:
– A woman’s nose falls off and she is given a Phantom of the Opera mask and her nose is put on ice for reattachment at the end of the cruise
– Avery needs an appendectomy during a hurricane that appears out of nowhere and Max is forced to perform Surgery Parkour during a hurricane
– A broken heart. Literally.
– Tristan almost dies from carbon monoxide poisoning from Halloween lamps that would be banned on real ships, but this show clearly doesn’t give a fuck about open flames and fire being the worst thing that can happen on a ship
– A woman almost has to have her arm amputated before she drowns because she ignored the housekeeper-turned-tour guide’s instructions to not go in a cave (also, at least some ONTDers thought her wife was her mother until they kissed)
– A shit ton of STDs, including syphillis courtesy of a hot pansexual guy who fucks everyone on the ship during singles week
– Sleeping Sickness after an African safari apparently makes guys turn into zombies who wander the ship and bite people
– “Marburg Virus” but not really, it was two gay guys trying to stay thin for the ‘gram by only eating sweet potatoes (Tristan
– A guy wearing a Wolverine costume sweats blood during an attempt at sex with a sexy bunny
– Penis captivus
– A drag queen (Bob the Drag Queen, actually) sets her wig on fire
– Penis broken-us (idk the technical title, but it leads to Max bragging about how big his dick is to Avery and Tristan in the first episode)
– A guy swallows a golden rubber duck during a duck hunt
– And many more!
Wait, this show sounds batshit crazy.
Because it is and that is the main reason to watch this show other than the network television-acceptable levels of sex.
You promised a throuple!
Ok fine.
If you thought a special guest throuple was special, then just you wait for me to tell you about the reason half of ONTD ran to binge this show after episode 6. I present to you… DOCTOR ODY3.
Yes, ONTD, our main trio had a threesome after a guest committed suicide throwing himself off the ship on his wedding day and they ate the wedding cake. It was the most tonally whiplash episode I have ever seen. Suicide, threesome, suicide hotline reminder. To the disappointment of ONTD, though, the guys never kissed, but it has been implied heavily that at least Max is bisexual (Tristan asks him if he’s fluid once) and Tristan REALLY wants to impress Max starting about 7 minutes into episode 1 to the point where my mom asked me if they were gay (and many fans believe Max and Tristan have the most chemistry, but it’s fandom, always shoving the guys together and the girls to the side). Tristan is also super into Halloween and costumes. Avery, meanwhile, is one of the horniest characters on all of television, and since episode 1, she has switched between which guy she is fucking.
Oh, did I mention Avery got pregnant during the threesome?
PREGNANT?!
Yeah, to the disappointment of 99% of fans, this show is speedrunning plots like there is no tomorrow and our favorite NP somehow got knocked up during a threesome because despite both guys wearing condoms, she’s not taking birth control for some stupid reason. Her announcement to the guys that she is with child (dear God this show…) did not go well, with Max being dismissive and Tristan, while extremely supportive of whatever Avery chooses to do, admitting this is the third time he’s had a condom whoopsie. What the actual fuck, Tristan?! Are there little Tristans we don’t know about? He did say he wanted a big family. In fact, before the threesome, when our trio were drunkenly discussing what they wanted out of life, all three said they wanted a family with kids. But then episode 7 happened…
Wait, what?!
ABC doesn’t want us to have good things and immediately put a kibosh on the throuple – for now! Despite introducing an example of a happy, loving throuple and Avery truly interested in pursuing a throuple with Max and Tristan, Max balks first (saying he wants only one partner) which leads to Tristan, initially onboard with the idea and recruited by Avery to convince Max to think about it, then backing out because of chicken tikka masala chips. It’s a weird analogy, but apparently Avery is chips. The consensus is that he was saying he didn’t want too much of a good thing.
Oh, and Tristan is also 100% seeing the ship’s chef, too, but the show forgets that she exists unless it needs Tristan to not be hanging out with Avery. I honestly forgot Vivian existed until right now, which is better than the show remembering she exists because they forgot she existed for two episodes! Vivian’s personality is food, being tall, and existing to keep Tristan busy and away from his bestie/one true love Avery.
This show sounds extremely ridiculous.
Yes, that is the point. This show is so stupid, ludicrous, insane, wacky, comedic, and terrible, but I demand we get 50 seasons of this soap opera on the high seas.
I want to watch this insanity.
Then here is a preview for the spring season, which promises to make things even more fucking stupid! IT’S SHARK WEEK BUT IT’S A SPECIAL TWO PART EPISODE. Who will live and who will die? Well, we know the idiot first mate who tried to get Max to do his job for him once is a victim after he goes surfing with my baby boo Tristan (LEAVE MY BOY ALONE HE JUST WANTS LOVE also uh… did the show forget to figure out if he’s dying of Huntington’s Disease like his mom and his great-grandfather?).
SOURCE 1 2 (but mostly my own recollection after having watched every episode multiple times and opinions and my friend with a cruise ship in heaven)
Are you going to watch tonight ONTD?
