March23 , 2026

    Orcas Undeterred by Heavy Metal Music, Still Attack Boats

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    • Sailors, being aware of the Orca Assault Coalition sweeping (swimming?) the globe, they decided to try and deter them with metal music.
    • And they used a special playlist you can find here.
    • The orcas then went for the jugular rudder of the ship making it impossible for the sailors to steer.
    • Scientists also went “Hey, not a great idea, as they will eventually realize that the clash of noise is coming from a boat, and will work to shut it down.”
    • The sailors were rescued, and White Gladis was unavailable for comment.

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    🤷🏽‍♀️ why not





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